Women for Sobriety

Monday Thoughts 11/2/2020

“A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey, but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong” ~ Author unknown

Statement #6 Life can be ordinary or it can be great

Greatness is mine by a conscious effort

Good Morning,

Karen has lost power for possibly the next few weeks due to the hurricane that came through her area.  I have been spoiled by her writing the first part of Monday Thoughts, giving me the inspiration to add my comments.  I looked through older messages and realized that I have a wealth of creative, inspiring thoughts to share.  I decided to think of it as a blast from the past, taking bits and pieces from various messages.

This exercise is one of my favorites in practicing Statement #6:

Every morning, answer these 5 questions.  This is about moving forward in leading a full life, learning to love yourself, taking risks, being responsible for your choices and the willingness to learn life lessons.  This takes perseverance, a strong desire to live an authentic life, to speak with a fearless voice, live joyously, be resilient and to have a deep caring and awareness of who you are today without judgment.

  1. Do it! Make the day count! What am I going to do today to make this day count?
  2. What can I do today to love myself?
  3. Today I dare myself to….
  4. Today I take full responsibility for….
  5. What I most need to learn today is…

These questions might be a bit challenging especially during this time.  Yet, I have heard over the years how living an ordinary life can be great compared to the chaos and drama of our drinking/using days.  To love ourselves can be the greatest gift we give ourselves, facing a fear and conquering or plain surviving it can make an ordinary day incredible, taking responsibility for being sober each day in the face of uncertainty – all of these actions create an ordinarily wonderful life.   Now that is greatness!

I would like to add on to Statement #5, I am what I think, from last week’s message.  Our group discussed the answers to all the questions and how important it was to create a plan and follow through when the time is right to counteract any negative messages trying to sneak their way in as we cope with the current pandemic.  Some have lost their jobs, have children at home that they are schooling or learning how to help with virtual learning, feeling isolated and missing their routine/structure.

One member had created a detailed action plan, yet her concern was that she has little, if any, patience and sometimes reacts impulsively, completely disregarding her well thought-out plan.  I asked if this was addressed in her action plan and it wasn’t.  I encouraged her to include it in two ways.  First, writing that she will pause and consider if her impulsive tendency will result in promoting her plan.  If it doesn’t, then pausing can be a great coping and learning tool.  Who knows, perhaps that impulse (after pausing) is the right choice for that moment and the plan can be altered to reflect that new understanding. For anyone, it’s trusting your gut instinct yet practicing the pause to give yourself a chance to reflect on what prompted the impulse. Also, include the pause when the feeling of impatience becomes overtly strong.  It took me a long time to learn patience.  There are certain situations even now that I have to stop, pause and assess my feelings and response.

I guess the two go hand in hand – impatience and impulsivity.   I imagine this big sign “STOP – PAUSE – EVALUATE” telling me that these intense feelings/reactions need my attention.  In the end, I believe that including stop, pause, evaluate in the action plan will create a non-judgmental change/choice. That’s the second part, creating a balance.  I see a huge benefit if the plan includes more flexible options than restrictive ones which might be a set up for perceived failure.  This powerful exchange prompted me to want to share how this approach can be beneficial to each of us.  If we learn to accept our impatience and impulsivity or whatever feeling we believe is blocking our efforts to move forward, then this approach of acceptance opens the door to balance.  Much depends on how we view it.  Thanks for letting me share!

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening.  

That’s where the power is!”

 Bonded in creating a life that honors and values the New Life we are creating, Dee