Monday Thoughts 3/4/2019

“Our rewards in life will always be in the exact proportion to the amount of consideration we show toward others.” ~~Earl Nightingale

“To feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life.” ~~Pablo Neruda

“A great relationship doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end.” ~~unknown

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Statement #10
All love given returns.
I am learning to know that I am loved. 

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Recently, a 4C woman shared how she alternates using the word “love” with “trust” when using Statement #10. This helps her move through the sometimes-difficult association that she has had with the word love. She explained that for her, love held negative connotations, especially emotional chaos, and the word trust helps her see and feel more clearly.

For some women, the second of the “Love Statements” can initially feel confusing and complex. In our WFS Program Booklet, Nancy Cross states, “All recovery roads lead to the ability to love and be loved.” Sobriety and recovery open a nourishing pathway for love to expand and foster meaningful relationships.

Statement #10 is not solely related to romantic relationships but can encompass any relationship as our Program Booklet notes. Many of us have more relationships than we imagine. At the core is a relationship with the self. Learning to know that love or even trust, is ours for the taking and can lay a mighty foundation for this empowering Statement.

Hugzzz
Karen

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Hi 4C Women,

I have always felt that rebuilding trust with others and re-learning to trust our instincts were two important factors in creating healthy relationships in our sobriety/recovery. Being trustworthy is gained by our actions and our patience with ourselves as well as with others. For me, this is where I began to experience the love I yearned for. It went beyond my words, my desire to be loved – it was the action behind my words. No more broken promises that left me feeling alone and lost again. Most of the promises were those I made to myself, bargaining that if I did this, I wouldn’t do that anymore. It took quite a while to finally decide that I needed to keep those promises if I was to survive and then thrive.

As for all love given, I thought I was giving love unconditionally. What I learned is that my love was given in order to fill the huge gap of feeling needed, important, accepted and cherished. Through WFS and therapy, I realized that I had to give that to myself first. I had to fill that deep hole of emptiness. The difference is astounding. I give and feel authentic love. I truly believe that I am loved. It seems amazing at times to recognize and acknowledge it. And it doesn’t feel conceited as I was taught as a young person. It feels extraordinary and I am deeply grateful!

Dr. Phil wrote a book several years ago called Self Matters. One of the questions always stuck with me and it was—If I could learn anything, I would choose to learn…and today the answer would be Statement #10–All love given returns and I am learning to know that I am loved. How would you answer this question?

Bonded in knowing we are loved,
4C WFS Member