Women for Sobriety

Monday Thoughts 8/13/2018

Monday Thoughts

“Life is the flower for which love is the honey.” Victor Hugo

“Do you have to have a reason for loving?” ~~Brigitte Bardot

“Love harder than any pain you have ever felt.” ~~unknown

Statement #7:
Love can change the course of my world.
Caring is all-important.

The concept of love can be easy to identify, yet it’s the giving and receiving of love which can feel difficult, especially in early sobriety and recovery. Before WFS and a sober New Life, rejecting love came easily since it felt foreign and uncomfortable, whether directed at self or others. Today, with hindsight being 20/20 and the practice of the WFS Statements, it is much easier to give, receive and even greater understand this thing called love.

Statement #7, the first of the WFS “Love Statements” encourages giving and receiving love, and it begins with self. The act of maintaining sobriety for 24 hours is a gift of a full day of love. Instead of running away from life into alcohol or a substance, sobriety and recovery connect the experience of living, and not just merely existing.

In our WFS Program booklet on page 23, “Self-love is a gift that allows us to build healthy relationships with ourselves and others.” Take a moment to examine the relationships in your life. Some may have changed, some may have not. Maybe some relationships no longer exist or have done a 180°. What is different? What is the same? Are you better able to embrace love today? If not, what one small act can you take to welcome love into your life?

Hugzzz and love
Karen

Hi 4C Women,

After all these years, I hadn’t thought that maintaining sobriety for 24 hours as a gift of love, yet how true that is! That act of self-love can be practiced in many areas of our lives, i.e., setting boundaries, saying yes when we want to and saying no as well, setting time aside for our needs, identifying and expressing those needs to others, being true to ourselves and being assertive.

For me, being assertive is saying that what I feel/think is important enough to share it when the opportunity presents itself. In the days of low self-esteem, I never felt confident enough to stand up for myself. I was intimidated and fearful of more rejection so I just accepted negative comments. In learning to stand up for myself, I also learned compassion and empathy for those who struggled as I had. I truly cared and care for their hurts. I have also learned to lessen my own pain, to not take negative comments at face value and be crushed by them. I just see those people as broken and trying to fix themselves by hurting others to feel better. That doesn’t work. It just pushes people away and that’s a sad, lonely place to be.

So, I encourage you to risk giving and receiving love, starting with loving yourself. Love is a powerful emotion and it creates avenues of personal and emotional growth.

I hope you will take the time to answer Karen’s questions and perhaps add to that the questions in the New Life Diary:

  • Make a list of the people you love and why you love them.
  • Make a list of the people you have difficulty loving and why.
  • What is your definition of love?

What do you think your answers will reveal about love changing your world?

Bonded in changing our world with love,
4C WFS Member