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Monday Thoughts 8/12/2019

Monday Thoughts

“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.” ~~Jodi Picoult

“There would be no need for love if perfection were possible. Love arises from our imperfection, from our being different and always in need of the forgiveness, encouragement and that missing half of ourselves that we are searching for, as the Greek myth tells us, in order to complete ourselves.” ~~Eugene Kennedy

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.” ~~Brene Brown


Statement #7
Love can change the course of my world.
Caring is all-important.


Being human means being imperfect. Imperfection offers a portal for love to flow and Statement #7 lays that foundation for love to flourish. It is a path paved with caring, expansion and change. In our WFS Program booklet it states, “Giving and receiving love can change our world. They change how we feel about ourselves—we feel increasingly alive, appreciated, important, necessary, wanted and worthy.”

Alcohol slowly invades the body and mind; beginning to eliminate the ability to understand and/or feel love. Under the influence, acts of love can feel uncertain and even threatening but this is simply an illusion. Sobriety and continuing recovery cement caring and understanding.

Statement #7 implores us to look within. What is underneath, and at your core? Are you able to embrace the woman who looks at you in the mirror? Do you see your strength? Do you feel your compassion? Are you able to provide self-care and know that you are worthy of love? How do you respond to your imperfections? What can you do differently to breathe additional life into this Statement?

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

Years ago, I cared more about what others thought of me and very little about how I viewed myself. Perhaps that’s because I thought I was so unlovable that seeing myself as anything else seemed impossible. Drinking helped me to ignore the work I needed to do – as the saying goes, healing is an inside job. Once I started the process of healing, I not only learned to love myself but to also accept and believe that I was lovable. I was so fearful of rejection that I was the biggest rejector of them all! This is how I learned that love is probably the most powerful, life-changing feeling that can break down the highest wall that we think is protecting us. It is doing just the opposite. It is keeping us from experiencing the most wonderful part of any “healthy” relationship. Yes, healthy. It is an important factor in caring for ourselves and for others. My love relationship with myself was not a healthy one but a judgmental one. Authentic love brings forgiveness, peace and joy to ourselves and to those we trust and care for in our new lives.

What do you love about yourself? This is a time to abandon the idea that complimenting or praising your positive qualities/characteristics is conceited. That is an outdated sentiment, one I grew up with but realize is detrimental to self-love.

What do you value about yourself?

What are you holding onto that isn’t serving you anymore? Old resentments, regrets, people pleasing, saying yes when you mean no.

What do you need to be more at peace with yourself? Maybe it’s setting healthier boundaries or making changes to your self-care.

All of these questions deal with self-love and from that comes the ability to genuinely care about yourself and others.

Bonded in knowing that love can change the course of our world and practicing the importance of caring for ourselves and others,

a 4C Sister

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 5/13/2019

Monday Thoughts

“I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance.” ~~Pablo Casals

“My mission in life is to be kind, compassionate, caring and loving in order to find and feel the deepest joy in life.” ~~Debasish Mridha

“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” ~~Margaret Mead


Statement #7
Love can change the course of my world.
Caring is all-important.


Before sobriety and New Life, caring was reserved for other people. Outwards, it had the appearance of caring, yet it was disguised as self-centeredness. This outlook chips away at self-worth and self-esteem. It also cements the cycle of negative feelings and a desire to escape which creates a loop of self-destruction.

Action into Statement #7 can feel frightening at first but with continued practice, it opens a whole new way to experience life; it changes our world. Instead of escaping feelings, it is a time to embrace feelings. No matter how deep-down feelings of caring are, they are there. Start small and branch out. Caring generates more caring while discarding in-authenticity.

Here are a few ways which can increase caring:

  • Write down your interests and list the people you feel an attachment to. Release things that you maybe were conditioned to care about or are told you should care about.
  • What do you have emotional responses to? What engages you? Identify what pulls at your heart. What actions can you take to cement and extend your caring?
  • Make time for experiences instead of room for things. Spending an hour on the phone with a friend can arouse feelings of care for both instead of spending cash or energy on empty items.
  • Identify and implement a healthy self-care routine. This can include encouraging self-talk, exercise, meditation, journaling.
  • Connect with others who care. The WFS Community is filled with caring women, whether online or in f2f groups.

What else can you uncover to commit action towards Statement #7?

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

Powerful message from Karen on Statement #7. I especially appreciate her sharing the ways to increase caring from pretending to authentically feeling and expressing it. Drinking certainly can provide a stage for pretending you are feeling something you are not; yearning for acceptance when feeling unworthy, fueling that need for acceptance even further by pretending you aren’t in pain, feel lonely or unlovable. A dear friend recently sent me an article on happiness, joy and friendship. I loved this one quote by David Brooks, an opinion columnist: “Transparency is the fuel of friendship. We live in an age of social media. It’s very easy to create false personas and live life as a performance.  Joy is the present that life gives you as you give away your gifts.” What greater gift than learning to be authentic, find joy and share your gifts of caring with those who mean so much to you. This is the gift of sobriety/recovery as we practice Statement #7.

As I read the questions again, the one that stood out for me is what engages you, pulls at your heart? For me, it is being a moderator. To have the gift of watching women working hard at their recovery, to see the positive changes taking place week to week and their willingness to share their journey. It is nothing less than awe inspiring and truly pulls at my heart with overflowing joy. It is the gift that keeps on giving and is priceless!

Bonded together in knowing that caring is all important,
a 4C woman