“Today is the day you can love yourself totally with no expectations.” ~~Louise Hay
“Love is always bestowed as a gift—freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved. We love to love.” ~~Leo Buscaglia
“For me, a life without expectation results in a life with inspiration.” ~~Alanis Morissette
#7 Love can change the course of my world.
Caring is all-important.
Have you ever said to yourself that you could be happy, love yourself or feel better if only; you lost weight, had this amount in the bank or stayed sober for that length of time? The WFS New Life Program and Statement #7 can aid in understanding expectations and embracing love.
An expectation can be understood as a unit of measurement, or judgment if you will, and does not allow room for flexibility. For instance, stating that you can love yourself only when you lose 50 pounds puts loving yourself in the future instead of now. It is rigid and inflexible and creates a direct path to self-criticism. The very fact that you are alive is enough to love yourself. You are deserving of love.
In our WFS Program booklet it states, “Practice of Statement #7 leads to understanding love and the importance of self-care. Our New Life depends on establishing healthy, loving relationships, first with ourselves, and then with others.” This week identify expectations that you may have set and examine them. Do they help or hinder love in your life? What actions will you take to love yourself this week?
Hi 4C Women,
I have made those kind of promises to myself, putting judgments on my worthiness, creating unreasonable standards so failure to self-love was inevitable. Statement #7 taught me that self-love, self-care, can open a whole new path to genuinely caring for both myself and others. It was achievable!
There is an exercise in the beginner’s guide that asks us to list people we love and why we love them. I never thought to put myself on that list. What an eye opener that was as the group discussed their answers. The second list was of those we have difficulty loving and why. Well, that was a much easier list to create and I’m sure my name was on that list! It’s been said that it’s not how we make people feel when they are with us, but how we feel when we are with them. That makes sense when it comes to these questions. If I feel loved, I can make a good list of why and if I feel unloved by certain people, it’s even easier to create that list. Perhaps it is important to start answering these questions with the person who will never leave you – YOURSELF! Can you create a list of why you love and value yourself and a list of when it’s difficult? I think the 2nd list will be helpful in determining what work needs to be done in caring for yourself and others, examining how truthful are your answers (judging too harshly or having unrealistic expectations) or putting others “perceived” opinions of you ahead of what is your truth for fear of rejection. I also think forgiveness is part of Statement #7. Loving ourselves requires forgiving ourselves and learning to forgive others. And remember, forgiveness of others does not mean they did not harm you or that reconciliation is part of it. It means you are giving yourself the power, time and energy to focus on healthy relationships, including the one you have with yourself. That is freedom is so many ways. You are no longer a prisoner without the keys to break yourself free. You hold the key and the power. It is your choice to use it.
Bonded in treating yourself like someone you love and knowing that you are who you have been looking for, a 4C sister