Monday Thoughts 11.4.24

“Love is loving things that sometimes you don’t like.”  –Ajahn Brahm

“It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you.  Those who didn’t know how to.  Those who failed to even try.  It’s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead.  You’re outgrowing them because you’re growing into you.  And that’s more than okay, that’s something to celebrate.”  –Angelica Moone

“Wherever you go, leave a heartprint.”  –Unknown

#7 Love can change the course of my world.

Caring is all-important.

Karen’s Thoughts

The thought of sobriety and the word love were in two completely different worlds and like many others with a substance use disorder (SUD), felt like something to avoid at all costs.  Alcohol had severed my ability to think clearly yet love came through and changed everything.  Sobriety and Statement #7 in action changes everything.

Recently I reminded one of our daughters of how courageous she was when she confronted me about my drinking.  As she unloaded her emotions and stood firm, her face reddened and her hands clenched. With an angry gaze, her eyes locked onto mine and pierced the emptiness as she released pent up feelings. Then silence. Something shifted in that brief instant.  Love changed the course of my world.

In that moment it didn’t feel like love.  It felt threatening to my addiction. Still, the next day was my first day sober.   Everything changed.  My brain and body healed.  Relationships healed.  Connections connected.  Growth continues.  Statement #7 in action allows love to expand and ripple outward.  This week, think about your journey of love.  Where are you now?

Hugzzz

Karen

Dee’s Thoughts

Hi 4C Women,

Love through the Statements of WFS has certainly changed my world.  I have felt it deeply with the women I have connected with all these years.  In the beginning of my sobriety, learning to love myself was the hardest lesson I had to learn.  I cared about others but caring for myself seemed impossible.  I eventually began to see myself as lovable and worthy to receive love. That was the biggest turnaround for me.  I let love in, accepted it with all my heart.

There is an exercise I’ve used many times from the beginner’s booklet.  It asks you to make a list of people you love and why.  It was an eye opener as I didn’t put myself on that list for a long time.  It seemed conceited to actually say or write what made me lovable.  That was a lesson I grew up hearing a lot, especially as a girl.  The reasons I loved others was what I believed was missing in me.

I believe my stumbling block in learning to love myself was that I struggled with forgiving my past.  That’s where being unworthy and unlovable kept me stuck.  Rather than acknowledging my growth in recovery, I chose to ignore it and continued to judge myself harshly.  I encourage you to start now to build yourself up with loving words you say to yourself.  Love and care about yourself as much as those you have listed.  For me, this is how love changed the course of my world and that caring about myself was as important as caring and loving others. 

Think about who would be on your list today.  Would you put yourself on that list?  If not, think about why and what you need to do to change that. 

Bonded in treating yourself like someone you love and knowing that you are who you have been looking for, Dee

Today we are introducing our new Digital Manager, Darcia, to the community! She is the newest member of the WFS staff and looking forward to making great changes while preserving the community we know and love.

Tell us about yourself.

I am a 4C woman and a proud member of the WFS community, first and foremost. Stumbling upon WFS was the best thing that ever happened to me which is a feeling that I know many of us can relate to.

I live on a couple of acres of land northwest of Toronto. Yeppers, I’m Canadian. I live with our two young boys, a neurotic German Shepherd, two kittens and four chickens.

I have a variety of work experience that I’m drawing on in this position, the most relevant being the 15 years I worked as a Business Analyst with a software development and consulting start-up, based in Toronto. This role enabled me to work with a variety of businesses, government agencies, not-for-profits, and community members to develop software that allowed these organizations to transition from the paper-based way of doing things to electronic.
I like to refer to myself as a translator of sorts. I listened to what our clients required their systems to do and I worked with our developers to make it happen. A fun part of this role was the training and implementation of our solutions!

I have also been volunteering on the WFS Web Team for over a year now.

The Digital Manager position is new at WFS. What does the position entail?

In this role I will be working to strengthen our virtual presence which is the heart of our growing membership base. As the Digital Manager, I am responsible for creating and managing engaging content across our various digital platforms including our public site. I will also be managing our website priorities and projects. I have the privilege of working with Community Care (CCG), who will still be providing tech support and answers to all of your questions, and I will remain a part of the WFS Web Team.

What do you love about WFS?

I love that WFS is helping me to rediscover the woman that I was meant to be. I love the unconditional support that we can receive from each other when we need it, be it through meetings or through group discussions. And I love being able to offer support to others. The New Life Program and the Statements are truly life changing.

How do you want to help WFS grow and succeed?

I want to help bring WFS to as many women as possible. I want others to experience the love and support that I received when I needed it most. I want to make our sites more accessible and widely available and I know that this is possible! We’ve got something special here that I want to share with the world!

What statement do you think applies to you the most?

Hmmm. Interesting question and I think my answer has changed over the time I’ve been with WFS. But today the statement that applies to me most is Statement 10. All Love Given Returns. I came here at a pretty low time in my own life and through the New Life program and the amazing support that I received from this community I am now in a position to return that love and give back to this amazing community.

Is there anything else you want to share with us?

I have a certificate in sustainable urban agriculture and I spend a lot of my time growing from seed and tending to our veggie garden – it’s becoming more of a family affair each season. I enjoy painting of all kinds, refinishing furniture, upholstery, photography, knitting and am new to the world of miniatures.