Monday Thoughts 8.5.24

“All love begins with the love within.”
Vironika Tugaleva

“Show up for yourself the same way you show up for others. Give yourself the gift of your own time and energy. You deserve it.”
Unknown

“I was always somebody else’s somebody. I never knew myself.”
A very 4C woman at our 2024 WFS Conference

#7 Love can change the course of my world.
Caring is all-important.

Statement #7 can feel initially overwhelming after years of neglect. In active addiction or early recovery, it doesn’t naturally occur to us that we are worthy of love. Our afflicted brain simply cannot fathom this yet. It takes time to heal on the inside, however, we can begin to practice Statement #7 by remaining sober every day. It is the beautiful beginning of self-love.

In her book, Goodbye Hangovers Hello Life, our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD writes “We know that as the process of self-discovery and the emergence of feelings of self-worth takes place, so the capacity to love and accept love, grows.” Action into this Statement can be in the form of unlearning old patterns of behavior while creating healthy habits, developing inner strengths, and releasing what no longer fits. The length and process look different for everyone; it is a life-long commitment to love ourselves.

If we temporarily shift Statement #7 to Kindness can change the course of my world, it can lessen the intensity and reduce fears. Many women can relate to and embrace the word ‘kindness’ over the word ‘love.’ It can feel a bit gentler. Self-judgment, criticism, and higher standards can be let go of when we choose to be kind to ourselves. I didn’t know how to do this before sobriety, but the WFS Statements and compassionate 4C community offer every woman the connection to develop loving kindness to self and others. There is no other community like Women for Sobriety– we are capable, competent, caring, and compassionate women!

Here are four ways to incorporate kindness by Robyne Hanley-Dafoe Ed.D.:

• Practice Using Kinder Language: Think about how you would talk to a friend, loved one, or even your younger self. Now think about your internal dialogue. We are often our own worst critics. Each of us needs to check in on the stories we are telling ourselves. If we find that these stories are self-destructive and unkind, we can reframe and rewrite them to build our sense of self-worth. Practicing positive, supportive, and encouraging self-talk can truly make a difference in how you show up for yourself and others. Be gentle with yourself.
• Basics Done Right: Take care of yourself by sleeping well, eating healthy, and getting regular movement. Notice how you feel when you take care of your body and meet your most basic needs. As Jim Rohn said, “Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”
• Give Yourself Permission to Rest: Time for rest and recovery is important. The exhaustion you experience from the hustle and bustle of life is not an indication of success. It is a sign you need a break. Once we reset through resting, we can then work to replenish our emotional reservoirs by doing things that spark joy, merriment, and hope. Work to set healthy boundaries for your life so you can stay well for yourself, and others too.
• Practice Gratitude: Noticing, appreciating, and trusting the good things in our lives keeps us in the present, activates many of the happy hormones (like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin), and increases empathy and compassion. If we feel grateful, we are more likely to act kindly.
• Ask for Help: You don’t have to carry the heavy weight of the world on your own. We can acknowledge that the experience we are going through is not easy and ask for help when we need it. There is an admirable strength in showing up for yourself in this way.

Bonded with hugzzz, kindness, and love,
Karen

HELP US FIND RECOVERY EVENTS NEAR YOU!

September is National Recovery Month. To expand our WFS outreach efforts and join in the celebration of recovery, please let us know about any recovery fairs, special events, and recovery walks in your neighborhood.

Just fill out this simple formand let us know:

• If we can invite other women to register;
• If you are willing to lead; or
• If we can help find another rock star to take charge.

Two to three weeks’ notice is helpful so we can ship WFS literature to the event lead.