Monday Thoughts 9.25.23

“Even in the midst of devastation, something within us always points the way to freedom.”
Sharon Salzberg
 
“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.”
Brené Brown
 
“When I got sober, I thought giving up was saying goodbye to all the fun and all the sparkle, and it turned out to be just the opposite. That’s when the sparkle started for me.”
Mary Karr

#1 I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my well-being.
I accept the responsibility.

Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick PhD, created our Women for Sobriety New Life Program out of desperation and necessity. Understanding the devastation that her alcohol use inflicted on her mind, her life, and her relationships, she set out to discover a different way to achieve and maintain sobriety. Jean began to construct an outline from which the Statements were created and began to find and then embrace her independence.  It all began with sobriety and Statement #1.

In our WFS Reflections for Growth booklet Jean writes, “To be independent also means to be unfettered, not restrained. In fact, it is a condition quite new to me, for so much of my life was without independence from an addiction that had held me bound and chained to it. Independence now means to be free from addictions, to be in charge of my life, to be free and independent, yet to be self-governing.” This is such an empowering way to live and enjoy life. It takes a conscious decision.

If you are established in your sobriety and recovery, take time this week to re-evaluate your New Life and engage with Statement #1 in a new or unique way. Since the month of September is National Recovery Month, you could offer to share some of your journey on our WFS Online Forum or social media if you are comfortable doing so. If you are new to sobriety or sober curious, hello and welcome! With WFS, you will find an empowering way to gain your independence by practicing the Statements as well as finding compassionate women who understand. Go ahead, sparkle and shine you 4C woman!

Hugzzz
Karen

Dear 4C Women,

I absolutely love the quotes and the message Karen has shared. When I think about Jean and how courageous she was to create this life-changing program back in 1975, it is an amazing accomplishment and gift to every woman who has discovered this empowering program. 

Karen’s question about engaging with Statement #1 in a new or unique way made me stop and pause. I’ve been sober for 35 years and reflecting on where I am now, I have to say I’ve been given the most painful challenge in the passing of my daughter. The temptation to numb, to forget for a brief time, has occurred and yet it is due to the WFS program and the tremendous support I have received that I have been able to stay sober. It is not easy yet it is necessary to honor my daughter and remove the hurt she would feel if she thought she was the cause of my relapsing. So, I can say I am recommitted to Statement #1 in order to maintain my freedom, help others, be available no matter the time of day, and be in charge! 

I made a list a while back about triggers and how knowing what they are can help in creating a 5-point plan to remain sober. What I learned from that list is feelings change over time. What triggered me in the past may not be what triggers me in the present. I’m putting the list here in hopes you will take the time to create a plan when the triggers begin to avoid a relapse. 

What feeling/s triggered me? (From the Gottman Institute)
1.     I felt excluded
2.     I felt powerless
3.     I felt unheard
4.     I felt scolded
5.     I felt judged
6.     I felt blamed
7.     I felt disrespected
8.     I felt a lack of affection
9.     I felt uncared for
10.   I felt lonely
11.   I felt ignored
12.   I felt like I couldn’t be honest
13.   I felt like the bad guy
14.   I felt forgotten
15.   I felt unsafe
16.   I felt unloved
17.   I felt disconnected
18.   I felt frustrated
19.   I felt a lack of passion
20.   I felt trapped
21.   I felt like that was unfair
22.   I felt like I couldn’t speak up
23.   I felt manipulated
24.   I felt controlled

I added:
I felt a lack of compassion
I felt a lack of caring
I felt invisible
I felt hopeless
 
What would you add to this list?
The goal is to be able to develop your personal 5-point plan to protect your recovery and most importantly to say YES to you with love and compassion.

My 5-point plan:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Bonded in accepting responsibility and building a strong toolbox to support your recovery journey, Dee

We have a new one-off volunteer project that we hope will be right up someone’s alley!

Do you love research and investigation? This could be for you! A CF is looking for a location to hold an in-person, regional meeting in Hamilton, ON. We need your help to locate an appropriate meeting spot. This will likely involve internet research, phone calls, and an open mind!

If you are interested in working with us on this project, please contact Kristina at [email protected].

Thank you as always for being part of our WFS family!