“I love peanuts, peaches, dogs, little old ladies, walking along a beach, moonlit June evenings, the first snow, awaking in the early morning and watching dawn and sunrise, working in the garden, walking in the woods, meditating……These loves may seem too unimportant to be considered ‘loves,’ but they are the fabric of greater love each of us is capable of.”
Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D.

“We were made to love—to give it and receive it.”
Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D.

“Love is a splendid emotion.  What is more beautiful than the flow of the warm feeling that suffuses us when we experience love of a pet, love of a friend, love of our country, love of family?  Love is warm, positive, enriching.”
Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D.

Hi 4C Women,

What a loving gift Jean gave all of us. She felt a purpose, a need to explore and create a program of what women in recovery needed to become empowered, to be in charge of their lives, and to learn to know that as we give love, we are loved in return.

When you say the words out loud that you are learning to know you are loved, what is your first reaction, your first thought? My first reaction was “no way.” My first thought was denial as I was still in the stage of not feeling lovable or worthy. Once I finally started to love myself, I was able to give love with my whole heart and felt a shift in believing I was loved in return.

I began to wonder why it was so difficult to make this transition. Part of it was my history, the rejection, and the hurt I reflected on. As I’ve said many times, it is through WFS that I realized I also had positive, wonderful memories and as I began to focus more on those, I was able to begin the healing process of the painful past and open the door to authentic, loving friendships and relationships. As I healed more each day, I decided to throw open the gate with this Love Statement and soak in the joy of loving and being loved. It is absolutely amazing how that changed my life. Now if someone was/is condescending or mean-spirited to me personally, I no longer look to what I did to cause that, what was so unlovable about me that caused this person to treat me this way. Instead, I realize these people might be hurting and they behaved this way to somehow feel better about themselves. Of course, this is not acceptable behavior yet I learned enough to recognize pain. Fortunately, I also learned to speak my voice and depending on the person and situation, address it with respect. Words are powerful and responding in a similar fashion is not going to change anything or anyone and even with a respectful conversation, it may not change. The change is you, your reaction, your response, and your self-protective boundaries are powerful!

The best part of loving and being loved is that it is not just reserved for romantic relationships as was my initial impression. There are many aspects of love. I love my pet and she loves me. I love volunteering and the people I volunteer for love that I am willing to do it. I love decorating for the holidays and while my house can’t give me a hug back, I feel the love with each memory of the treasures I display. I love being a facilitator for these past 34 years and feel the love in return. I feel grateful and honored to be part of a program Jean Kirkpatrick so determinedly created. Her love and understanding of our needs in recovery will remain a huge part of all of our lives. I so wish I could give her a big hug and thank her right now for what she has given to lead us to become 4C women. I do believe she feels thousands of hugs each time a woman discovers WFS and creates their own New Life through the phenomenal 13 Statements of Acceptance.

What is your initial reaction to this Statement of loving and being loved?
How do you express love?
How do you experience the feeling of being loved?
Have you learned to love and forgive yourself in the process?

Bonded in loving yourself and knowing you are loved, Dee