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Monday Thoughts 6.27.22

“Sometimes we can only find our true direction when we let the wind of change carry us.”

Mimi Novic

“Every moment is a fresh beginning.”

T.S. Eliot

“With change comes the chance to fall in love with yourself again.”

Gemma Troy

#1  I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.

I now take charge of my life and my well-being. I accept the responsibility.

The 2022 WFS Conference this past weekend brought women together from across the map and continued creating a lasting foundation of joy, connection, and love. A heartfelt thank you goes out to all the women who helped make this wonderful experience possible, from our WFS staff to the generous volunteers who brought this year’s event to life. It begins with our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., and Statement #1.

Jean envisioned women coming together to support each other in recovery and brought the 13 Statements to life. While she could not see the future, Jean did however understand that women had different needs in recovery. From the beginnings with pen-pals, phone calls, and small face-to-face meetings, WFS is now reaching women every day through our robust online forum, virtual meetings, chats, email, face-to-face, and of course this past weekend, our annual Conference.

If you were like me this year and unable to attend, set your intention for next year! One way to get and stay motivated is to volunteer your time, talents, and skills to the WFS Planning Workgroup for Conference 2023.  It is also a FABULOUS way to put Statement #1 into practice, ensure your sobriety and work alongside other 4C women! (Plus, you get exciting firsthand knowledge of what’s up and coming!)

This week let’s put action into Statement #1:

What are my triggers? Remember a trigger is something that activates that part of your brain that starts to yell at you about drinking or using. Is one trigger standing out more than another? Why? How can you create more balance in your life?

How will you respond to those triggers? Always have a 5-point plan when the urge to drink or use hits hard. List a minimum of five things you can do to prevent relapse such as texting or calling someone, jumping on the WFS Online Forum, doing something physical like a brisk walk (if able), or keeping your hands busy with crocheting, drawing, journaling, weeding a garden. Meditation or repeating a mantra can ground you while you learn the root cause of a particular trigger. Lastly, you can always grab your WFS Program booklet and find a Statement that resonates with you.

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

A plan is so crucial in preparing yourself when a triggering thought starts shouting to drink or use. While it may be a person or situation, it comes down to a feeling that triggers these thoughts. It’s a message that what you are feeling is uncomfortable and numbing or running away from that feeling would make it all go away. That is an old message and yet familiar message which is why having plans in place before a trigger happens will give you a life-changing lesson that you need and deserve. What is that life-changing lesson? To know that you are worthy of being in charge of your reactions/responses, that you are growing stronger with each no to those triggers and each yes to YOU! The key is to know what your feeling triggers are. It is different and yet similar in many ways for each of us. It also changes as we change.  What triggered me in the past was feeling less than… That is no longer my trigger as I have worked really hard at believing in myself, speaking my voice, and learning to value who I am today. As you successfully handle triggers, you are building a strong toolbox of coping skills that support your recovery and also others as you share those successes.

I am including a list of triggers that I have used in my meetings to help identify triggers in order to create your 5-point plan.

What feeling/s triggered me? (From the Gottman Institute)

  1. I felt excluded
  2. I felt powerless
  3. I felt unheard
  4. I felt scolded
  5. I felt judged
  6. I felt blamed
  7. I felt disrespected
  8. I felt a lack of affection
  9. I felt uncared for
  10. I felt lonely
  11. I felt ignored
  12. I felt like I couldn’t be honest
  13. I felt like the bad guy
  14. I felt forgotten
  15. I felt unsafe
  16. I felt unloved
  17. I felt disconnected
  18. I felt frustrated
  19. I felt a lack of passion
  20. I felt trapped
  21. I felt like that was unfair
  22. I felt like I couldn’t speak up
  23. I felt manipulated
  24. I felt controlled

I added:

I felt a lack of compassion

I felt a lack of caring

I felt invisible

What would you add to this list?

The goal is to be able to develop your personal 5-point plan to protect your recovery and most importantly to say YES to you with love and compassion.

Bonded in accepting responsibility and building a strong toolbox to support your recovery journey, Dee

Thank you for blooming with us in Portland 

to our volunteers, presenters, and attendees!!!

women for sobriety annual conference bloom logo

You can still register for on-demand access to key moments from the 2022 Conference for $25