Release the past – plan for tomorrow – live for today!

The WFS Board of Directors is happy to release our new Strategic Plan, including our new, modernized Vision, Mission, and Values statements. We hope that you will join us as we continue to develop the New Life Program and reach even more women in the future!

READ THE PLAN HERE

Values

Compassion: WFS promotes empathy and caring for self and others.

Connection: WFS creates safe spaces where women support the expression of thoughts, feelings, and needs.

Empowerment: WFS encourages and celebrates women and their right to be their own unique individuals.

Love: WFS commits to authentic relationships defined by mutual value and worth.

Respect: WFS acts with integrity, honoring every woman’s experiences and ideas.

READ MORE

What about the old Mission Statement?

Let us know what we should do with the 2011 version of the Mission Statement by taking this brief survey.

Learn more about the strategic planning process and how we are putting it into practice at the Celebrate the Possibilities event on Saturday night at the WFS Virtual Conference 2021!

It has been 8 months since WFS started its diversity, equity, and inclusion (D.E.I.) group and wow have I learned a lot! I decided to start the group after some serious reflection following my How Intersectional is Your Feminism? blog post. I felt a real sense of urgency that day and I knew I didn’t want to lose that momentum. I have learned in my recovery that the best way to keep myself accountable is to get others involved, so I decided to start a group (#12).

Through much thought, consideration, and discussion, I decided to start a hybrid group that would be part support group, part organizational development group, with WFS Vice President Veena Iyer. We would introduce D.E.I.-related topics and women would have a chance to discuss them and reflect on how they affect us personally for most of the meeting (#8). Then in the last 10-15 minutes, we would “zoom out” and see how we could apply the topic to WFS as a whole, using the information to help us reach – and speak to the needs of – a more diverse group of women (#12). After our first meeting or two, we even had a name: (WE)covery: Exploring Equity.

I have learned that I have a lot to unlearn.

We have explored some pretty difficult topics, such as how being a “white ally” can be tricky and why there is such a disconnect about how people of color and white folks think about race. We have learned about white fragility and the pervasive roots of white supremacy in our culture. We’ve talked about how the drug war has unfairly targeted people of color and created a new basis for legal discrimination and how racial bias creates health disparities as early as birth. It seems that for every topic we cover, five more potential topics emerge!

I have learned that it is about me.

It has been comfortable – well, maybe not always comfortable – to learn about the historic foundations and systems of oppression in our culture. I could look objectively at these systems which predated me and were certainly outside of my immediate control, reassuring myself that I was raised not to see color and to treat everyone equally. I was, as author Layla Saad says, “one of the good ones.” How silly that I thought that I could grow up in a society with these pervasive systems of oppression and escape without any personal biases! But having developed implicit bias doesn’t make me “bad,” it makes me human.

(WE)covery has challenged me to go deeper, to really dig in and see how these things have affected my experience of the world. It has challenged me to step out of complacency and into action, identifying ways to do whatever I can to fight oppression, however small (#13). In going deeper and learning more, I’ve also discovered that while the disadvantages are always greater for the marginalized groups, being in dominant groups has downfalls, too. By embracing the fierce individualism that comes with whiteness, we also go through a dehumanization process and lose connection to our communities. My mom really (accidentally) hit the nail on the proverbial head when I was a kid and asked her about our heritage. Her response: “We’re just good ol’ American mutts, Adrienne.”

I have learned that this work is messy.

Really messy! Boy, have we had some blowouts, and I have definitely encountered some serious learning curve. This is such a challenging topic for so many, and the drop-in format brings an extra layer of complexity that we didn’t anticipate well. As with life, we have had to make course corrections, posting more introductory content in our (WE)covery forum and creating a separate Zoom link so people couldn’t accidentally stumble into the middle of a charged conversation. We’ve also had some really good process-related topics such as calling in vs calling out and how to have better political conversations which have helped us developed our discussion skills.

And of course, I am beyond grateful for our co-facilitator, Veena, who helps me debrief and supports me when I feel challenged by the AFGOs (Another Fabulous Growth Opportunity).

I have learned that it goes deeper than outreach.

Of course, the simplest answer to the question of how to make our program more diverse is to increase outreach, and to do more targeted outreach to underrepresented populations and include things like a variety of skin tones and personality types on marketing materials. But we’re gaining insight into the fact that it needs to go deeper than that. The phrase “diversity, equity, and inclusion” (D.E.I.) lends a lot of information here. Improving outreach can get you to diversity, which is really about getting a wide range of people showing up. That’s the first step. Then comes inclusion. When these diverse folks show up, they are greeted, welcomed, and included in the group. A great second step. And the deeper goal is the third step, equity, which is make sure that everyone is feeling fully seen, celebrated, and their needs are being addressed as fully as possible.

Now, our core program – the 13 Acceptance Statements, Levels of Recovery, and other WFS tools – appears that it should work equally well for everyone, and the consensus in the appears to be that this is true. And we have started to identify some way that our services and literature might be enhanced to address the needs of a more diverse group of women more fully. For example, it has come up a few times that addiction is even more heavily stigmatized in a lot of Asian cultures than it is in the US, especially for women. It is a complete cultural taboo to even mention it, much less seek support from friends and family. So in parts of our literature that talk about building a support network, we may want to simply acknowledge that this may be more difficult in such cultures and give additional strategies for those women. So the idea is not to change the core program itself, but to enhance the tools offered to meet a wider set of needs.

What the WFS organization is doing.

The WFS Board of Directors has made a strong commitment to ensuring that the New Life Program is accessible to and celebratory of all women. As most of you know, we have been engaged in developing a strategic plan since last summer, and the finalized plan is scheduled to be shared later this month. The board took careful steps to ensure that D.E.I. objectives are woven throughout the plan. They also put their money where their mouth is, dedicating a portion of this year’s budget to providing much-requested training to our volunteer leaders and group facilitators on this topic. The live, interactive Zoom training will be the first of its kind for WFS and will serve as a pilot for future empowerment opportunities.

Honoring our legacy.

I like to think that if Jean Kirkpatrick were still around today, she would be embracing this work to ensure that her life-saving New Life Program remains relevant, helpful, and empowering to all women in recovery from problematic substance use. I believe that the internal work I do to challenge my subconscious biases is a part of my spiritual growth in recovery (Statement 8). And I know that I am so proud to work for an organization that shows such a commitment to operate within its core values – to reach all women with competence and compassion!

Much Love,
Adrienne Miller
President/CEO
Women for Sobriety, Inc.

You are invite to join us!

(WE)covery: Exploring Equity

Edit 5/26/21: (WE)covery has a new, simplified schedule!
Join us every Monday at 6:30 pm US/Eastern
1st & 3rd Sunday of each month, 12:00-1:30 pm US/Eastern
2nd & 4th Thursdays, 3:00-4:30 pm US/Eastern
Must be logged in to WFS Online to join – registration is always free!

Check out our Winter 2021 Newsletter here!

Our new diversity, equity, and inclusion group starts August 2^nd! In order to offer a variety of times so that as many women as possible can attend, the schedule will be:

• 1^st & 3^rd Sunday of each month, Noon – 1:00 pm US/Eastern
• 2^nd & 4^th Thursday of each month, 3:00 – 4:00 pm US/Eastern

At our first meeting, we will review the results from the initial survey, pick out a name for the group (top contenders include “WEcovery” and “It’s a New D.E.I.”), collaborate on creating a group agreement and framework, and determine next steps. The group will have two major goals:

• Provide a forum for us to gain support and insight as we deconstruct our personal biases, and
• Create a space where we can reflect on how we can make WFS as an organization more inclusive, welcoming, and celebratory of all women in recovery.

This is an open group available to all WFS participants on a drop-in basis. The group will be facilitated by VKI and Adrienne.

First Meeting:

Sunday, August 2^nd

Noon-1:00 pm US/Eastern

WFS Online Zoom Room

We hope to see you there!

I want to talk about how we talk about tough stuff today. There are a lot of difficult things going on in the world right now, and I feel like we have reached an unprecedented level of polarization in America. Everything – even a major community health crisis like a global pandemic – is being heavily politicized, divided into “red against blue”.

So where does that leave us 4C women, who come from a variety of backgrounds, belief systems, and political affiliations? How do we support each other as we navigate our very real and often very deep feelings about current events and how they affect our New Lives? How can we capably and competently process the effect these topics are having on us whilst simultaneously maintaining caring and compassion for ourselves and our Sisters?

The easiest-to-manage answer is to just put a complete moratorium on anything “political” in our groups, which has been a practice in WFS in the past. However, given that it seems like nearly everything is a political issue these days, it doesn’t feel like that is a sustainable or helpful solution, and is likely to strip our meetings of the dynamism that our founder Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick intended for us. I would propose that the complicated challenges facing today’s women call for more nuanced solutions.

A Sister on our WFS Online community summarized the need for a conscientious approach well by saying,”The political IS personal because it influences our lives, our thoughts, our feelings, our anxiety levels, our enthusiasm and capacity to think positively about the future.”

So, here are some ideas on how we can effectively navigate these difficult topics whilst also gaining support for our New Lives, respecting the diversity of our Sisters, and maintaining a safe space for all:

• We can share about our personal emotions without directly referencing which “side” of a political issue we stand on.
• If that’s not possible, we can share about our personal emotions in response to a current event without trying to persuade others to agree with us.
• When someone opens up to us about their emotions, we can keep our response focused on their personal experience, and leave our own opinions out of it.
• If we are feeling emotionally activated by someone else’s share, we can take a break before responding. If we are really having a difficult time staying in compassion, we can simply choose to not say anything at all.
• We can reach out to our personal support system (outside of WFS) for help processing our own emotions if needed, without trying to rally others to take our viewpoint or pitting Sisters against Sisters.
• If a 4C Sister comes to us for individual support, we can support them emotionally without getting involved in their interpersonal conflict. We can take what they are saying with a grain of salt, knowing that their perspective and interpretation is just that – theirs – and that we don’t have to take their opinion on ourselves.
• We can refrain from contacting someone individually in response to something shared in a group setting that we disagree with, especially if our contact is unwelcome.
• We can respect others’ boundaries if they tell us they need a break from a topic, or from us.
• We can respect the guidance of our community facilitators (Certified Chat Leaders, Forum Management Team, and Certified Moderators) by respecting their requests to redirect our sharing to focus on recovery, return to the topic at a meeting, or otherwise modify our behavior to be in line with WFS philosophy and guidelines.
• We can assume good intentions, even when behavior is unskillful.
• We can acknowledge and accept that most of us are here precisely because we don’t have the best skills at navigating challenging situations, that each 4C Sister is in a different place in her healing journey, and that we are all doing the best we can with the tools that we have available to us.

Talking about controversial current events, politics, and other types of difficult topics in WFS meetings might be new ground for some of us. But I believe that we are 4C, capable of keeping the focus on ourselves and our recoveries, without wading into persuasion and convincing. There will probably be missteps. Some of us will make mistakes. I might get caught up in the moment and spout an opinion or two – it has been known to happen. But I have a lot of faith in 4C women. I’ve seen us do some pretty amazing things!

With Much Love,
Adrienne Miller
WFS President/CEO

Do you have any additional ideas about ways to talk about the effect that current events are having on our New Lives without getting into debate or conflict? Please share them here!

You are also invited to the new inclusion workgroup of 4C women exploring how to dismantle our personal and organizational biases. Please participate in our brief survey to assist us with planning!