Month: March 2023

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Monday Thoughts 3.27.23

“Letting go may sound so simple, but rarely is it a one-time thing. Just keep letting go, until one day it’s gone for good.”

Eleanor Brownn

“Don’t rush something you want to last forever. It takes time to build proper foundations, relationships, careers, creative pursuits. Things take time and it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out just yet. Keep going.

Tim Stuh

“Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Even though you want to run. Even when it’s heavy and difficult. Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through. Healing happens by feeling.”

Dr. Rebecca Ray

#1 I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.

I now take charge of my life and my well-being.

I accept the responsibility.

Sobriety and Statement #1 work together to create a beautiful New Life. In her book Turnabout, our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. writes, “The Women for Sobriety program is an affirmation of the value and worth of each woman. It is a program that leads each woman to assert her belief in self, a program that leads to seeing herself in a positive and self-confident image. She will see herself as forceful and compassionate, assertive and warm, capable and caring, resourceful and responsible.”

If you are sober curious or new to sobriety, Women for Sobriety (WFS) is an organization made up of women supporting women. WFS was founded by a woman who realized women have different needs in recovery; the need to overcome loneliness, feelings of excessive guilt, depression, and/or low or no self-esteem. The WFS Acceptance Statements aid in addressing each of these critical needs.

Right here, right now, you have everything within you that you need to succeed. Take a few moments each morning to set the tone for the day by reading the Statements. Choose one to focus on this week, one that feels relatable. Connect with other sober women, either online on our WFS Online Forum, in a chat meeting, or in face-to-face meetings. Learn about where addiction originates, and stay curious. Reach out, ask questions, and write down quotes or comments that speak to you. Your recovery is your own journey. Fill your life with joy, experiences, and adventure. It’s yours to invest in!

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

I keep hearing myself say, if not now, then when? That was the thought that finally broke down my denial, fear, and uncertainty that I could do this. Mostly, it answered the question of why and what was I waiting for. What would it take to begin this journey of the unknown? As it turns out, the unknown became the precious realization that I matter and regaining all that self-esteem and self-empowerment Jean talked about in Turnabout. What a beautiful gift she gave to thousands of women who doubted their worth. Grateful is too small a word to acknowledge this courageous woman who understood the needs of women in recovery. Such an empowering way to see ourselves rather than continuing the path of believing we will never be good enough, feeling unlovable, and believing we cannot be forgiven by ourselves or others.

It was challenging to face my authentic feelings, and even harder to believe that I could heal from my hidden pain and start to blossom with joy and peace. I wanted so much to experience the peace of growing emotionally stronger, being available no matter what time of day, and having in-depth conversations with women who understood and encouraged me and I could do the same in return. Taking charge of my life seemed impossible yet I saw others doing it and I wanted the same for myself. I realized that I was holding on to false promises of being comforted when drinking– which while true for the moment, was not an inside life-changing promise that Statement #1 held.  A temporary solution that led me back to emptiness and regret. I said this Statement so much in the beginning and I felt my thoughts change from hopeless to hopeful, from fearful to strong, from feeling lost to having a purpose, and from being reactive to being responsive in a positive way.

If you are struggling with getting started (sober curious), think about answering the question of “if not now, then when?” Hopefully, that answer will help you uncover what is holding you back, and what fears are standing in the way and leading you on an inspiring new path of healing and recovery.

Be kind to yourself while working on recovery. It is truly a journey with twists and turns. However, I believe those twists and turns are life lessons for us to dig deeper, create a better understanding of what our triggers are, and find new coping tools to help us respond to those triggers in a healthier, balanced way. Uncover the triggers, develop new coping tools, and create a New Life. Most of all, know that it is possible and for those who have grown and created a New Life for yourselves, please share, encourage, and support those who are just beginning. It makes a difference.

Bonded in believing we can do this by being in charge and healing on our recovery journey, Dee

 

Are you excited to attend some of the wonderful workshops we have at the 2023 conference this year?  We are proud to offer a really great lineup of options for all the different things we thought you would enjoy!

Here’s a list of the title’s for each workshop as well as a film short.  We will soon post more information about each person who will be running the workshops and what to expect!

Enjoy the Journey!

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Monday Thoughts 3.20.23

“You have a choice each and every single day. I choose to feel blessed. I choose to feel grateful. I choose to be excited. I choose to be thankful. I choose to be happy.”

Amber Housley

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”

Gandhi

“It’s the small habits. How you spend your mornings. How you talk to yourself. What you read and what you watch. Who you share your energy with. Who has access to you. That will change your life.”

Michael Tonge

#13 I am responsible for myself and for my actions.

I am in charge of mind, my thoughts, and my life.

Statement #13, the culmination of the WFS New Life Program and part of Level Six is the recovery chapter of a sober New Life. While sobriety is the beginning of abstinence, one without alcohol or substances, recovery is much more than not drinking or using. Recovery is the healing or process of living better, or in balance emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Statement #13 in action can also be the stop sign before relapse. Being in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life, I am able to examine and manage inner dialogue. If there is internal conflict or friction, it is up to me to disarm it, no one else, it comes from within. Blaming, which is something I did easily before sobriety and recovery, can be a big indicator of imbalance.

In our WFS Beginners Collection booklet, our founder Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. writes “The entire object of this ‘New Life’ Program is to come to this point: to the maturity of accepting ourselves and being responsible for ourselves and all that we do. By accepting responsibility for who we are and what we do, we have broken away from unhealthy dependencies upon others to see us through life. We have become whole. We make ourselves whole.” This week, examine what sobriety means to you and what recovery means to you. What tools do you use to manage your mind and your thoughts? What is the change that has made the biggest impact in your life?

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

I have been thinking about Karen’s question of what change has made the biggest impact on my recovery life. My first thought was “change” period! I changed my whole attitude and outlook in so many ways. I especially related to blaming everyone else for my unhappy life. It took a lot of courage to practice this Statement, to be responsible and in charge when I felt so empty, so lost, and searching for a way to trust myself to change my life in a positive way without alcohol. I decided that in order to accomplish this, I needed to accept this Statement with hope in my heart that I could become a responsible sober woman. I rebelled at first because it did mean I had to give up the blame game and that was pretty scary. To be in charge of my mind, thoughts, and life was quite a challenge, to say the least. I had to look deep into my inner conflict and actually, both believe I could change my negative attitude and the fear of such a momentous change to becoming a 4C woman.  Fear was my stumbling block. Fear of change, fear of failure, fear of being in charge, plain old fear everywhere I looked.

Once the wall of fear started crumbling, I felt free for the first time in my life. I didn’t think that freedom would be the outcome of being in charge of my life. I made mistakes for sure. The difference is that I learned from them, created much better coping tools, made better choices but most of all, I didn’t retreat to old coping methods when I was unsure or made mistakes. Let’s face it, we all continue to make mistakes. That is part of human nature. However, I believe we go from surviving to thriving and that keeps us moving forward. We are also supported and encouraged by so many wonderful 4C women. We are not alone and that is what I love when I get those moments of doubt. I don’t run away; I stop and reflect. I seek input and do my best to keep Statement #13 always in the forefront of my thoughts, reactions, responses, attitude, and recovery because, in the end, I am responsible for my choices. I am learning to respect and trust my instincts as best I can. Life changes and the life lessons continue. As I wrote this, I laughed out loud wishing there weren’t so many lessons sometimes!

What is the change that has made the biggest impact on your recovery life?

How do you handle mistakes? What are your coping tools?

Do you acknowledge your successes or gloss over them?

Are you giving permission for those with dirty feet to walk through your mind? Can you identify them and set healthy boundaries for your well-being?

Do you trust and respect your instincts?

For those struggling in trusting themselves to be in charge of their life, remember it is not the length of the journey but the willingness to take it. And most importantly, this is not a solo journey. Yes, we are responsible for our individual actions/choices, yet there is so much support and encouragement from those who are journeying with us. We are students and teachers at different moments. Whichever you are right now, please trust yourself to be the teacher or the student.

Bonded together on this journey, Dee

 

Please make a donation to the Teddy Bear Challenge today!!! 
25 winners in the drawing – to be eligible, donate by May 16. 

MAKE A DONATION at womenforsobriety.org/donatetbc or download this form to mail a check to the office.

Contact [email protected]womenforsobriety.org to volunteer your time. Read more about the Teddy Bear Challenge.

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Monday Thoughts 3.13.23

“Today I want you to think about all that you are instead of all that you are not.”

Unknown

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch but in her own wings. Always believe in yourself.”

Unknown

“Never hold yourself back from trying something new just because you’re afraid you won’t be good enough. You’ll never get the opportunity to do your best work if you’re not willing to first do your worst and then let yourself learn and grow.”

Lori Deschene

#12 I am a competent woman, and have much to give life.

This is what I am, and I shall know it always.

Feelings of shame over alcohol use canceled my feeling able to manage daily tasks, relationships and simply living a semi-regular life. It happened slowly and over time that I did not even notice that my attitudes and behaviors were changing and not for the better. I had become increasingly negative and quickly lost faith in my abilities. Even those things which I considered a fun activity felt overwhelmingly difficult if not impossible. I felt weaker inside and out but sobriety and Statement #12 in action helped change that.

Statement #12, a part of Level 3 in the WFS New Life Program, offers a way to create and practice a new view of ourselves. Instead of focusing on inabilities or lack, I can adjust my thoughts and reframe any situation. Initially, it was difficult to make this shift, but it was simply a habit that needed changing. Knowing it was nothing more than a habit (which helped me remove judgments about it) I could make different choices. Over time I created healthier habits and proved to myself that YES, I CAN.

Today I embrace my strengths while also being on the lookout for those old habits, which on occasion can make an appearance, especially during times of stress. When self-doubt arises, I check in and see if balance needs to be restored, or identify what other actions can be taken. Comparing myself to myself before sobriety and recovery always works to alleviate self-doubt. After all, I am a 4C woman!

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

This Statement is so crucial to moving forward, to believing we are competent women and living the New Life we yearn for and work so hard to achieve. I recently learned that a participant in the group I facilitate has passed away at her own hands. It broke my heart. I sobbed tears of great sadness. I wish she could have believed her life was worth saving, worth living. After all these years, I want so much for every woman who finds WFS to stay the course. Part of that is staying connected by attending meetings, being willing to seek support and encouragement when needed, sharing authentic feelings without fear of judging – which is part of the guidelines of WFS that I love – and being part of the WFS online community which offers phenomenal caring and lots of meetings.

Karen’s last two sentences spoke volumes to me and hopefully to every woman who is questioning her competency. It’s important to not compare ourselves to anyone else’s recovery path. Jean Kirkpatrick spoke about this a lot. We only need to compare ourselves to who we were, who we are becoming to keep our self-doubt at bay. I find that when I feel overwhelmed, I do a check-in as Karen suggested. It usually does mean I am out of balance, doing too much, not reaching out for help, and doubting myself because I think I “should” (my least favorite word) do it all!

Here are some questions to consider in valuing who you are at this very moment:

What positive words do I speak to myself each day? List as many as you can:

I am worthwhile because:

What motivates me to keep trying?

What do I say to myself when self-doubt comes in?

In what ways do you advocate for yourself even when you feel unsure?

 

Bonded in believing in yourself, your worth, your competency, and knowing you have much to give life, Dee

As I finished writing this, I decided to go outside and sit on the porch to read and observe.  It’s 1:30 p.m. in AL and over 70 degrees.  I noticed how blue the sky was and all of a sudden, I see a bright white half-moon peeking through the sky.  The birds were singing, there was a slight breeze and I found myself enthralled in the beauty of nature that I might have missed completely.  I had my treasured moment for the day!

Visit the event website for more details as they become available.

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Monday Thoughts 3.6.23

teddy bear challenge

“Expect nothing and appreciate everything.”

Unknown

“Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day.  Adults only laugh 15-100 times a day.  Be six again.”

Unknown

“Find the time to read, to smell the flowers, to paint your dreams, to have coffee with a friend, to learn a new craft, to write a letter, to bake a surprise cake, to go somewhere special, to really be with the person you love, or even do nothing for a while…”

Unknown

#11 Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.

I treasure the moments of my New Life.

When young, one of the most favorite things to do was see how high I could swing.  Jumping on the seat, I would pump my legs and try to touch the sky.  With toes pointed upward, I gleefully soared higher and higher until my tummy fluttered.  With hair flailing all over my face, I would feel free and energized in the midst of this forward and backward dance. Yet not once did I ever capture that feeling with alcohol.

Remembering what brought feelings of joy and enthusiasm in the past helps me practice Statement #11 today.  When first becoming sober, I had difficulty feeling anything, much less enthusiasm.  What I found was that it was the little things that helped me to experience and keep enthusiasm.  Nothing major or life-shattering, just simple awareness and appreciation.

In our WFS Program booklet, it states, “Pause at random times throughout the day and identify something to appreciate about that moment.  Learn which things make you smile and excited.  Reflect on your life and find things to be thankful for.” For me, reaching new heights brings out the child in me.  This week, take time to practice expanding your enthusiasm one moment at a time.

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

I sometimes struggle with this Statement as finding enthusiasm as my daily exercise can be daunting.  Yet, Jean realized when she created this program that it is the awareness of these moments that can shine a positive light on even the smallest treasured experience.  Just as we cannot be happy all of the time, we can create moments of joy and happiness.  I am learning slowly that feeling enthusiasm is being willing to be vulnerable, to expressing child-like wonder at special moments that I previously didn’t recognize or appreciate.  Moments such as hearing the birds chirping as Spring approaches.  They are searching for places to nest and I am searching for places to feel freedom, joy and healing.  I’ve heard birds chirping for many, many years yet just stopping, pausing and truly listening and watching them was not something I did.  I can be feeling down and yet facilitating a meeting, volunteering, helping others and catching my dog, Molly, doing something silly, can bring out enthusiastic joy in my heart.

This past Saturday, a dear friend, who calls me her 2nd mom since her mom passed, came to my house and helped me decorate for Spring.  We made chicken salad together and created a house filled with bunnies and other treasured Spring decorations.  She said it was the first time she felt like she was having a family time in a long while.  We hugged and said our goodbyes.  As she drove away, I turned around and looked at our beautiful Spring creation and realized that this was a feeling of enthusiasm that I might have missed or overlooked without Statement #11.  I remember going to my nephew’s daughter’s wedding a few years ago (before COVID) and they asked on the reply card, what song would get me up to dance.  This was a question on everybody’s card.  I just knew that my request would probably not be repeated – Sweet Home Alabama!  Well, they played it and I danced with enthusiasm.  I have musical bunnies and my former neighbor’s boys came by one year and played every one of those bunnies, giggling and dancing.  I giggled right along with them.  This Statement is a path to awareness, to be vulnerable to your child-like joys and creating a chest full of wonderful moments to treasure.

I am going to put into practice what Karen has suggested – to pause, reflect, look and listen.  I hope you will do this as well and write your feelings to share with a group, a friend or partner.  Consider the last time you felt enthusiastic and share that as well.

Bonded in awareness and treasuring the moments, Dee

As I finished writing this, I decided to go outside and sit on the porch to read and observe.  It’s 1:30 p.m. in AL and over 70 degrees.  I noticed how blue the sky was and all of a sudden, I see a bright white half-moon peeking through the sky.  The birds were singing, there was a slight breeze and I found myself enthralled in the beauty of nature that I might have missed completely.  I had my treasured moment for the day!

teddy bear challenge

Please make a donation to the Teddy Bear Challenge today!!! This is the largest annual event to raise funds for Women for Sobriety, Inc.  

Pay it forward with a contribution that you can afford. Make it special by flagging a thank you to our volunteers by including a “thirteen” in the amount: $13.00, $50.13, $100.13, 500.13, $1013.00 or $5000.13. A one-time donation or a monthly pledge would be most appreciated.

MAKE A DONATION at womenforsobriety.org/donatetbc or download this form to mail in your check to the office.

Contact [email protected]womenforsobriety.org if you want to volunteer your time.  Read more about the Teddy Bear Challenge.

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WFS Conference Registration is now OPEN!

 

 

The 2023 WFS Conference, EnJOY! The Journey, will be a virtual event that you can enjoy from the comfort of your home! 

The weekend will offer keynote speakers, twelve workshops, informal activities, and WFS meetings from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon. 

All women seeking or in recovery from substance use disorders are encouraged to attend the conference, and all expressions of female identity are welcome. 

This year’s conference fee is $150 which includes everything listed above. Your registration also includes access to recordings of most sessions for two weeks. You will be able to view the sessions you missed that are recorded. 

The first 100 registrants can use the coupon code ‘ENJOY’ for an additional $20 off the fee.

Visit the conference website for more details.

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WFS Conference Registration is now OPEN!

 

 

The 2023 WFS Conference will be a virtual event that you can enjoy from the comfort of your home! The weekend will offer keynote speakers, workshops, informal activities, and WFS meetings from Friday evening to mid-day Sunday. All women seeking or in recovery from substance use disorders are encouraged to attend the conference, and all expressions of female identity are welcome. 

This year’s conference fee is $150 which includes three keynote speakers, twelve workshops, WFS meetings, and informal activities. Registration includes access to recordings of most sessions for two weeks. The first 100 registrants can use the coupon code ‘ENJOY’ for an additional $20 off the fee. In honor of the 100th birthday of Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick, all those who register on Thursday, March 2 get an additional $13 off automatically.

 

Register Here!

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Jean Kirkpatrick’s Legacy and WFS Today

 

Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick’s Legacy

Dr. Kirkpatrick was recognized as an expert on addiction in women. Her dream to have women meet in self-help groups throughout the country has become a reality, both in location-based and online meetings. Treatment facilities also use the program.

Thousands of women have used the New Life Program to achieve sobriety and reclaim their lives. The WFS Acceptance Statements are the recovering woman’s guide to everyday thinking and living. As the New Life Program evolved, participants began to request a more chronological guide for their recoveries. In response Jean defined Levels of Recovery. Jean also wrote articles on recovery related topics, such as Early Sobriety, Self Esteem, Understanding Relapse and many more.

 

On June 19, 2000, Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick passed away at the age of 77. Her life experiences and recovery journey, expressed so well in her books and the WFS New Life Program, have had such a personal and positive impact on many women in recovery.

Consider celebrating Jean’s 100th with a $100 donation

One time, today, or in small monthly installments (8.34/ month for this year for a total of $100.08). Your generous gift will allow WFS to continue to support and distribute this life-changing program, continuing Jean’s meaningful impact on women’s recovery.

DONATE NOW