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Monday Thoughts 5.30.22

women for sobriety decorative image love

“You always gain by giving love.”

Reese Witherspoon

“Your self-worth grows when you fight for something you love.

Maxime Legacé

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

Maya Angelou

#10 All love given returns.

I am learning to know that I am loved.

One of the greatest moments in life was walking away from something that was painful to me. Though inundated with fear, I also felt something akin to exhilaration; freedom that I had not known before. Although I could not understand it at that moment nor feel it………what I was doing was an act of pure love. It was Statement #10 in action.

In our WFS Program booklet, there is a wonderful quote from Nancy Cross, who foresaw the need for an online forum and made sure WFS would always be there. It states, “All recovery roads lead to the ability to love and be loved.” So insightful and empowering. Nancy’s insight and awareness of the need for women to connect online adds to her legacy daily.

When you attend a face-to-face meeting or online meeting/chat, write or respond to a forum post and/or donate your time, talent, or finances, you are practicing a form of Statement #10. As 4C women, we are capable of giving and receiving love. This week, note all the ways love touches your New Life.



Hi 4C Women,

These past several weeks, I have felt love so deeply from the WFS sisters who attend my zoom and face-to-face meetings along with those who have reached out to me, needing support and giving support. I often wonder how different my life would be if I had not found WFS so many years ago. I find it difficult at times to express the pure joy I feel at the friendships I have formed, the love I experienced at the WFS conferences presenting workshops with Nina, dancing with abandon in a large circle at one of the WFS conferences, facilitating meetings and having lunch with a dear friend to celebrate a special occasion. I can say those moments, those memories, I feel that I am giving love and feeling loved.

I find it easier to give love and yet have come to understand that receiving and accepting love is important to my emotional well-being. I still have those moments when I find it difficult to believe that I am loved. It is at those moments that I stop, take a deep breath, and let the love into my heart. My fear of showing my vulnerability, to be authentic and perhaps to be rejected, no longer holds me hostage. While I felt unlovable for so long, to say Statement #10 out loud brings a smile across my face and the acceptance is palpable. Plus, I have learned that giving love and being loved are not confined to romantic love. That was a huge revelation. I have loving friendships, love of my dog, family love, love of decorating, writing, and showing compassion for myself and others. Through Statement #10, I have discovered that there is so much to love in this world. I read that if you want to be loved, start loving others who need your love. I feel that WFS has taught me that, to see others with caring and compassion, to listen, to support and encourage their path in recovery, and to acknowledge their fearlessness and willingness to survive and thrive. That is how we see them authentically, without any judgment, and for them to see us in the same way.

Do you believe love changes you? If so, in what way?
What’s one thing about love that scares you? How are you working to change or lessen that feeling/fear?
Define love in 5 words.
What is the most vulnerable way you let someone into your life?
Who do you love and who loves you?
Who do you have trouble loving and why?
What do you love doing that brings loving feelings into your life and endless smiles?
How do you know that you are loved?

Bonded in love given and returning, Dee

women for sobriety jolene park conference 2022






We’ve got some great keynote speakers and workshops lined up for the 2022 WFS Conference! You can find more information about conference presenters at

women for sobriety ebony jewel sears conference 2022

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Urgent Call to Action: New York Residents Needed

With only days left in New York’s legislative session, we need your help to bring the Nonreligious Recovery Options bill to a vote. If passed, this bill would ensure that all individuals mandated by a court in New York to attend recovery support programs are provided with secular options. The bill has passed the Assembly and passed out of committee in the Senate, but has not been brought to the Senate floor for a vote.

If you live in New York, please take five minutes to make a phone call and/or send an email to Senate Majority Leader Andrea Stewart-Cousins using the instructions below. Hearing from even just a few local constituents could make the difference on whether this bill is brought to the Senate floor for a vote—or not.

Today, individuals with criminal justice involvement account for 47% of all treatment admissions to New York State’s Office of Addiction Services and Support. However, the only support groups available for many participants are based on the traditional and faith-based 12-step model. Too often, individuals in the court system are denied access to nonreligious recovery options that are consistent with their values and personal beliefs.

We need our leaders to pass the Nonreligious Recovery Options bill to make sure New Yorkers have multiple pathways to recovery available to them, including secular options. Your voice can help make this a reality. Act now using the instructions below.

Read more about the act at

Thank you for your activism and continued support!
Adrienne Miller
Women for Sobriety, Inc.


If you get a voicemail, please leave a voicemail using the script below. If someone picks up, it will likely be staff. If you’re extra short on time, the most important thing to remember are to establish you are a New York voter, mention that you are a member of Women for Sobriety, and say you are calling to urge the Majority Leader to bring S.7313A, the Nonreligious Recovery Options bill, to the floor for a vote.

Phone number: (518) 455-2715

Script for phone call:

  • My name is (NAME). I’m a New York voter in (CITY/NEIGHBORHOOD IN NEW YORK) and a member of Women for Sobriety
  • While I am grateful to Majority Leader Stewart-Cousins for her leadership on passing and funding substance use-related services and programs, I am calling to express concern that with only a few days left in session, S.7313A, the Nonreligious Recovery Options bill has not come up for a vote.
  • This bill is very simple—it will ensure that nonreligious recovery options are made available for individuals mandated by courts to attend substance use treatment programs.
  • This bill protects the First Amendment constitutional rights of individuals in the criminal justice system by preventing our state from coercing attendees to attend faith-based programs. Faith-based recovery programs work for many people, but not for everyone. This bill ensures that multiple pathways to recovery are available so that individuals can choose programs that will work for them.
  • I strongly urge the Majority Leader to bring S.7313A, the Nonreligious Recovery Options bill to the floor for a vote. Thank you.


Simply copy-paste the subject line and text below into an email to Majority Leader Stewart-Cousins and fill in the blanks (your name and address). Feel free to edit the email and put it into your own words. If you have a personal connection to the issue, please feel free to share it.

Email: [email protected]
SUBJECT LINE: Bring S.7313A, Nonreligious Recovery Options, to a vote
TEMPLATE EMAIL (make sure to fill in the blanks):

Dear Majority Leader Stewart-Cousins,

As a voter and member of Women for Sobriety, I am writing to urge you to bring S.7313A to a vote. This bill that expands treatment options for New Yorkers in the criminal justice system. If enacted, this legislation would ensure that all individuals who are mandated to attend recovery support programs are provided with secular options.

While faith-based programs work for many, they don’t work for everyone. It is critical that individuals on the path to recovery be provided with options so that they can choose what works best for them. Furthermore, we must ensure that our criminal justice system is protecting the First Amendment rights of all New Yorkers. This bill shifts the burden of protecting this constitutional right from the individual, who often does not have the resources to advocate for themselves, to the state.

In recent years, New York has seen a 200% increase in opioid-related deaths, impacting our families, friends and neighbors. Unfortunately, those in the court system are routinely denied access to secular treatment options, including those where Medication Assisted Treatment (MAT) plays a central role in the recovery process.

I urge you to protect the First Amendment rights and expand recovery options for New Yorkers in the criminal justice system by bringing S.7313A, the Nonreligious Recovery Options bill, to a vote.Sincerely,


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Monday Thoughts 5.23.22

women for sobriety decorative image the past is gone forever

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”

Japanese Proverb

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.  In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

Maya Angelou

“Recovery is not a race.  You don’t have to feel guilty if it takes you longer than you thought it would.”  Unknown

#9 The past is gone forever.

No longer am I victimized by the past. I am a new woman.

Grief was one of the most difficult feelings for me to understand in sobriety and recovery. In fact, grief was the biggest thing that drove my need to escape. I had no clue how to process this intense emotion and carrying a lengthy list of painful moments slowed life down to a standstill. Yet, through WFS and action into Statement #9, I am a victor and not a victim.

I felt well versed in grief, having taken courses in it, and knew the 5 Stages from Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, but when it overwhelmed my life, I was lost like a ball in weeds. Not knowing how to put it into practice only intensified the discomfort and isolation eased in. The smaller my world came, the bigger my addiction grew. Even though sadness and uncertainty ruled, I needed something different. I stood up to my fears and past. 

Statement #9 is freeing for many women, and I felt it gave permission to let go. When I examined past situations or thoughts, I saw that replaying the same story kept me stuck. I didn’t realize I was clinging but when I chose to clean the slate so to speak, something shifted. I began to define myself with a fresh set of sober eyes (and brain). A portal for insight was opened and Statement #9 became my daily go-to phrase. Guilt, shame, and fear didn’t stand a chance against my growing voice and today I feel better equipped to manage intense feelings. 

Here are 4 ways to add practice to Statement #9:

1. Ask yourself how the past is impacting your life today: What habits or thought patterns are driving you? What/why are you clinging to? Is it positive or negative? These answers may take time to learn and understand and can change over time. 

2. Your feelings are valid, practice self-compassion: Give yourself time and space, if need be, yet set a deadline. You may need more information to process something, giving yourself one month or six months can ensure you focus here and now while working towards a healing goal.

3. It’s ok to forgive, including yourself: No one is perfect. Forgiving does not erase or change what happened. In fact, there is a practice in Japan called, Kintsugi, which is the repairing of broken pottery with gold. Or a metaphor for embracing flaws and imperfections. You can heal with effort and awareness which adds incredible value and beauty.

4. Responsibility for yesterday and tomorrow: This is NOT self-blame, rather, it is understanding your role in the moment. Acknowledging and owning past actions, allows a chapter to be closed and helplessness to fade away. This constructs the ability for future growth and 4C development.



Hi 4C Women,

Forgiveness was possibly the most difficult feeling to work through. Once I understood that forgiveness was to heal me, and give my time and energy to the healing changes of my personal and emotional growth, I felt the most empowering feeling of all – freedom! It took a bit of research to understand what forgiveness is not and that was a tremendous help. 

Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation

Forgiveness is not forgetting

Forgiveness is not condoning or excusing

You may need to forgive the same person more than once

Forgiveness is not always justice if serious harm has been done without consequences. Again, it is giving peace to yourself. 

Forgiveness is a powerful choice you can make when it’s right for you that can lead to greater well-being and relationships (especially the one you have with yourself). 


While it was difficult to accept my role in past behaviors, I began to understand that it was part of making important emotional, behavioral, and spiritual changes to create a New Life. As Dr. Phil says, we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. That acknowledgment took me out of the blame game and empowering changes began to happen. I learned what I needed to work on, to heal so I would take both responsibility for my reactions/responses in the past and, importantly, in the present. I was and am in charge of my choices and my responses. Again, empowering freedom.

Another change that I have become more aware of as each year passes is focusing on the positive past. I believe that sharing our positives at the meetings as it relates to one of the Statements, has provided that awareness that I previously ignored. Recalling and focusing on the negative past was so easy yet it left me stuck, hating myself with each recollection. The best gift of recalling the positive past is that I greatly reduced that hurtful, harmful feeling of shame and guilt. While I get melancholy when reflecting on the wonderful memories of the past and miss those times, I have learned to turn that feeling into gratefulness. While much has changed in the past 34 sober years, my gratitude for experiencing healthy friendships, new adventures, learning to be spontaneous (a huge change for me), finding and speaking my voice, acknowledging my achievements with pride, expressing my feelings through writing, creating conference workshops with Nina, admiring the courageous women I have met through WFS, making authentic life changes, all bring a smile to my face.

My life has changed a lot as it has for many yet I cherish the ability to view it with gratitude, natural sadness at times, and best of all, the major reduction of shame and guilt which never served me well. Of course, there is the guilt that is a life lesson when it teaches us what not to do or say that is hurtful or harmful to others and ourselves. The other guilt, which I call useless guilt, is when it hampers or holds us back in forgiving ourselves and moving forward with love and compassion. We cannot change what has happened but we can change how we view it and no longer victimize ourselves by what cannot be changed. The important thing is to learn, change our inside self-talk, and most of all, change our behavior and responses. This is the best outcome of practicing Statement #9. 

I encourage you to think about what you have learned from exploring your past. 

Have you learned forgiveness for yourself and others? 

Can you reflect on your positive past and feel grateful for the experiences? What are those grateful moments?  

In accepting your feelings, and reactions to exploring the past, can you remember what Karen shared – that your feelings are valid? How does that feel to say it, to believe it? 

Bond in forgiving, healing, and learning from the past to no longer be victimized but become a new woman, a 4C Woman, Dee

Open your invitation and take a look at the Blooming Sale Catalog and register to be ready to purchase or bid June 10-11!  The catalog at is online now.

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Monday Thoughts 5.16.22

women for sobriety decorative image growth

“She does not know what the future holds, but she is grateful for slow and steady growth.”
Morgan Harper Nichols

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”
Robert Frost

“Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”
Helen Keller

#8 The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

When I find myself on the side of conscious growth, Statement #8 feels like a warm, cozy blanket. It feels comforting, even satisfying, and I am able to identify and acknowledge the path of growth, even if it was difficult or painful. Sobriety and recovery make this possible.

At other times, trying to practice Statement #8 can feel like a terrifying tornado blowing everything over in its path. Fear and uncertainty abound, and the fight/flight/freeze response is kicked into high gear. This is where sobriety sets the foundation for growth to take place. Through the WFS Online Forum or face-to-face meetings, we can learn new tools/skills to manage how we feel and gauge our growth.

My favorite aspect of this Statement is that there is no destination, and there is no one size fits all. It’s personal and it’s intimate. The object is simply growth. This version of me will be different from next year, five years, and so on. So in-between the comfy blanket and blustering storms, I embrace the possibilities and welcome 4C development.


Hi 4C Women,
I always thought, and have shared this over the years, that I thought all my major life decisions would be made and completely accomplished by age 40. As I have grown older, way past 40, I learned gratefully that life provides numerous opportunities along with choices to continue achieving emotional and spiritual growth. As Karen shared, there is no destination but plenty of roads to travel.

One of my favorite things about the WFS program and this Statement, in particular, is that emotional and spiritual growth is a personal, individual, unique journey. How I define my priorities, my spiritual journey, and ways to achieve emotional growth belong solely to me. While we may share commonalities, our history, our openness to seek support, willingness to change, and setting specific priorities is our choice, and our decisions to make. And as we learn life lessons, we learn to set different priorities. That is the beauty of emotional and spiritual growth.

Before recovery, emotionally I was still thinking like a teenager who was hurt by her bio father at age 16. That life lesson changed me in a powerful but definitely not a positive way. It certainly affected my self-esteem; skewed my priorities. It took therapy and sobriety to address those issues and heal. Before I made those life changes, I had no idea of how to make myself a priority that would empower me to know my core values and create a New Life of self-love and self-worth. Through determined perseverance, thought patterns changed, behavior changed, and I became a New Woman! I started thinking about what mattered the most to me, known as core values. I questioned whether I was spending quality time on those core values, where my focus and time were spent.

I encourage you to make a list of your core values. Be courageous, and fearless in writing down what matters most to you. I say this because I initially found myself writing what I thought I “should” consider my core values according to societal standards. It was quite a challenge to be authentically and soulfully honest. I finally understood that if I was to grow emotionally and spiritually, I needed that complete honesty with myself. And I as grew over the years, my core values changed and shifted. It was exciting to recognize and be okay with that shift.

As you look over your core values, i.e., career, family and/or friendships, fun/recreation, health/fitness environment/home, money, significant relationships, and any important aspect of your life, how much time do you spend on them?

If you find yourself needing to shift your invaluable time according to your listing of core values, what is your action plan to start doing that?
How do you show up for yourself when setting priorities? In other words, are your core values connected to your current needs?

Answering these few questions will be a guide to making a conscious effort to set the right priorities that speak to your heart. I often think of our emotional and spiritual history as a compass, directing us in creating change, becoming resilient in the discomfort of healing, and pain, and value our worth.

Bonded in setting priorities and spending focused time on your emotional and spiritual growth, Dee

The 2022 WFS Conference – Bloom – will be in beautiful, fun, and funky Portland, Oregon at Portland State University.

Register now!!

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Tapping Into The Human – A Podcast On Addiction, Recovery, and Mental Health

adrienne miller from women for sobriety on the podcast tapping into the human

Tapping Into The Human is a podcast on addiction, recovery, and mental health, hosted by Alex Colyer, Founder, and President of the Albertus Project non-profit. Weekly, listeners will hear powerful stories from people about their journey with recovery and be inspired by individuals and organizations that are leading the charge in decreasing the stigma surrounding mental health and addiction. By tapping into the human behind addiction and mental health, we can empower those suffering by creating a culture of empathy and support.

In this episode, Alex chats with Adrienne Miller of WFS about what the recovery group has to offer and how women can discover a happy ‘New Life’ in recovery.

Listen here!

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Teddy Bear Challenge Update!

women for sobriety teddy bear challenge thermometer 2022

WFS needs our annual support. The Teddy Bear Challenge is a major fundraiser for WFS.
Donate to support WFS. Or donate to win a doll in the drawing. Donate to be part of … All
Love Given Returns.

Here is where the Teddy Bear Challenge is on May 2:

92 donors have collectively donated $9,975!
Plus we have a pledge of $50,013 in available matching funds!
Including matching funds … we are now at $19,949!!!

women for sobriety teddy bear challenge thermometer 2022

20% toward our goal of $50,013 from the community
59% towards our participation goal <— can we blow this out of the water?
5 donors at the Silver level, $500 – $999
1 donor at the Gold level, $1000 – $4,999
0 donors at the Platinum level, $5000+
1 WFS Angel, matching up to $50,013!!! <— your dollars are doubled!

Are you able to make a donation to turn your gratitude for WFS Online, the WFS meetings or
the WFS support into an action that helps sustain the services in 2023? We appreciate your
Donate to the TBC online at

or download this form to mail in your donation.

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The Creative Crew Blooming Sale Catalog is open!

women for sobriety blooming sale june 10-11

Aloha Rock Stars!

We would like to invite you to the second event sponsored by The Creative Crew!

A glorious, blooming showcase of handmade items created by our sisters are for sale. There will be quilted items, glass pieces, theme bags, and other delights.  And if you missed out on the bee journal in our last sale, we have another one for auction!

Some items will be auctioned and others are offered at “Buy It Now” for a set price. All funds (100%) support WFS.

What you need to do: 

  • Register or Sign In to the Blooming Sale Catalog at The Creative Crew Blooming Sale
    TIP:  If you registered for the Conference Auction in June 2021, or the Creative Crew Holiday Sale in November, your login is still active. If you do not remember your password, you can request an email to reset the password.
  • You may now preview items online as they are added to the catalog!
  • The Blooming Sale opens at 11am Eastern (your timezone), on Friday, June 10… and closes with the auction ending at 10 pm Eastern (your timezone) on Saturday, June 11.

Bunny & Creative Crew

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Monday Thoughts 5.9.22

“I’ve always had the feeling that life loves the liver of it. You must live and life will be good to you, give you experiences.”
Maya Angelou

“The choice to love is the choice to connect—to find ourselves in the other.”

Bell Hooks

“Actually, being able to exercise your own choice can bring about greater opportunity. I think it’s just as important what you say no to as what you say yes to.”
Sandra Oh

#7 Love can change the course of my world.

Caring is all-important.

Love… as a choice? It has taken sobriety and practicing Statement #7 as well as a life examined to begin to understand that love is a verb. Love is not static or fixed, but rather an action, or the center of expression. Sure, love “makes the world go round” yet I had difficulty comprehending the concept of love as a choice. Alcohol had blurred the lines of everything, including love.

The WFS New Life Program and the Statements are about choice. Learning to live without alcohol is the beginning of the journey, discovery is then unleashed and choices abound, including love. Saying “NO” to alcohol says “YES” to you. This one choice opens up a whole world, one that was hidden away behind the pain of substance use.

Today, everyday experiences are examples of choice and love in their purest form. Instead of escape, sobriety and recovery offer a way to transform into the living of life and love. Choice expands and so does our insight. In our WFS Program booklet, it states “Practice of Statement #7 leads to understanding love and the importance of self-care. Our New Life depends on establishing healthy, loving relationships, first with ourselves and then with others.” Choose love today.



Hi 4C Women,

I had been talking to a friend about helping a family member who was resistant to helping themselves and it was wearing me down. I was exhausted and frustrated. My friend looked at me with concern and said, “You can’t care more than they do.” It was one of those light bulb moments!  I understood that while it is compassionate to care about others, leaving myself out of the equation of caring and self-love can empty my own love tank. And when the well is dry, it is next to impossible to give what you don’t have. This is not a new theory yet it felt brand new to me in recovery. Statement #7 was going to the well, filling my bucket with self-love, and sharing love with others –creating a beautiful balance.  It is self-love and self-care that provided me the vulnerability to be open to loving others authentically while still taking care of my needs. I always thought it was one or the other. Sacrifice was the way I lived yet it was at the expense of my own peace and contentment. It was through WFS, Statement #7, that taught me my world could encompass loving myself and others without sacrificing either. The only difference was that I began setting boundaries when I felt I cared way too much than they did. These boundaries were and still are, at times, challenging for me depending mostly on with whom I am setting them. Family is definitely the most challenging because of the emotional history and roles we have played for many years. My need for acceptance was way out of proportion to the point of being emotionally unhealthy, even unattainable. I was in such fear of rejection. Who would love me if I didn’t ignore my needs and focused only on the needs of others? There was no balance, no recognition that I mattered.  Being a facilitator taught me more about caring than I ever dreamed possible. I began to feel cared about as I cared about the women who courageously walked into a meeting, searching for a New Life. My heart, my love tank, was no longer empty. It is incomprehensible at times to reflect on the woman I was – fearful, self-loathing, believing I was unlovable, unworthy of love. This Statement offered a real opportunity to change my negative self-talk. The more I let go of my fears, the more I let love in, knowing and believing that I am truly worthy of giving and receiving love.

Was there a time in your life when love changed the course of your world? What were the circumstances?

How do you practice self-care?

Do you struggle with being a people pleaser? If so, have you considered setting boundaries to create a balance between giving to others and also getting your own needs met?

How difficult is it to set boundaries? Do you find it depends on the person or situation?

Do you know when you’re giving too much? What are the signs?

How do you speak to yourself when it comes to self-love and self-worth?

What is your greatest fear of being vulnerable?

Authentic love truly changes the course of your world when a balance is created and the choice is made to love yourself as well as others, Dee

Here is where the Teddy Bear Challenge is on May 2:

92 donors have collectively donated $9,975!

Plus we have a pledge of $50,013 in available matching funds!

Including matching funds … we are now at $19,949!!!

20% toward our goal of $50,013 from the community

59% towards our participation goal <— can we blow this out of the water?

women for sobriety teddy bear challenge thermometer 2022

Donate to the TBC online!

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Monday Thoughts 5.2.22

woman smiling in sunset from window life is great

“The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t.”

Marie Kondo

“I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all.”

Laura Ingalls Wilder

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

#6 Life can be ordinary or it can be great.

Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.

Statement #6 can sometimes get pushed out of the way while more focus is spent on the seemingly larger Statements like S#4 or S#7. Yet, it is the simplicity of this delightful Statement that can make my day shine like a brand-new penny or bring about comfort like a favorite worn sweatshirt. All it takes is a little “conscious effort” and daily practice.

Before sobriety and my New Life, days were filled with trying to out-do everything previous or an attempt to escape. Unaware of my thoughts, it was impossible to use conscious effort in anything. Lacking the tools to manage feelings and emotions, I bounced off everything like a pinball, blaming or lashing out at others then sliding into isolation. It felt so chaotic, and it was incredibly exhausting.

Sobriety and practicing Statement #6 paved the way to experience life from an unfamiliar perspective. Through WFS face-to-face and online meetings, I began to learn new ways to actively participate in life. Moments became meaningful, and simplicity started to become the norm. I felt contentment ease in, while chaos decreased. Additionally, I no longer felt attached to drama. Such a gratifying way to live!

Here are four ways to add mindfulness

  1. Sit in stillness each morning after reading the Statements. Give yourself an extra 5 or 10 minutes to simply enjoy being. No pressure to do, give, or make anything, simply be.
  2. Focus on being present multiple times during the day. Maybe set a timer for each hour, notice how you feel, what you are thinking or doing, and just breathe for 1 minute.
  3. Shift into gratitude. List five things that you are grateful for each day. Jot in a journal or notebook. Reread when feeling uncertainty or fear.
  4. Trust and let go. Something weighing you down? Is holding on helping? What will it take to release?



Hi 4C Women,

As I read Karen’s message, I was thinking of how much the pandemic taught me to be okay with my ordinary New Life in recovery. It’s been many years since I discovered and began to practice the 13 WFS Statements yet I am so grateful for the coping tools I have learned. The isolation was the most challenging during the pandemic as I feel such joy being “with” people. I laughed when I saw a post on social media that said going grocery shopping was now considered their social outing. That was me! I wasn’t escaping through alcohol to cope with loneliness or belittling myself for not taking better advantage of my free time. I learned how to zoom, continued writing, calling, or emailing my family and friends and women inquiring about WFS. I felt peace among the challenges. When I didn’t, when the loneliness would kick in, I reached out. I have gone back to f2f meetings every 2nd and 4th Monday of the month. This past Monday I had 4 new women attend. My heart was exploding with joy and thinking of the courage it took for each of those women to walk through the door. I actually felt nervous as I love WFS so much and hoped the women could feel that love coming through, especially the hope of having a New Life in recovery.

I also had women there who have been consistently attending, supporting and encouraging each other. They absolutely made the meeting a welcoming place for the new women, perhaps recalling their own bravery in coming to a meeting for the first time. I felt the greatness of their compassion and caring for every woman there. Talk about life being ordinary or great!

I came across a message I wrote about the great moments I had with my granddaughter when she was a teenager. She is now 25. It is amazing how I had forgotten how much I treasured those moments and am so grateful I wrote about them. Something as simple as clothes shopping or big as watching her compete in barrel racing. It is being aware, being in the moment, that helps us to understand and appreciate those fleeting moments, those enormous moments and have them bring the ordinary into greatness.

I hope you will put into practice what Karen has suggested. Writing about gratefulness can be a place to visit when we need a personal reminder of what is positive in our lives – a wonderful balance.

Bonded in creating balance as we experience the ordinary and the extraordinary, Dee



jolene park

Jolene Park

Author of Gray Area Drinking
Functional Nutritionist, Health Coach

eboni jewel sears

Eboni Jewel Sears

Peer Recovery Support Specialist
Recovery Advocate
Ph.D. Student in Transpersonal Counseling