Month: June 2021

“The beginning is always today.”  ~~Mary Shelley

“Never feel guilty for starting again.”~~Rupi Kaur

“The future lies ahead, calling us up, offering us a new chance to make a new choice every day, offering us the chance to go another way, to start over.  The possibilities are countless.  All you have to do is just dare to take them.”  ~~Zøe Haslie

---

#1 I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.

I now take charge of my life and my well-being.

I accept the responsibility.

---

Maybe you are completely new to sobriety, or maybe you have been trying to achieve more than a few days or weeks sober, or it is possible that you are just exploring sobriety. In any case, welcome!  Women for Sobriety is an empowering tribe of courageous women who understand and can relate to what you are thinking and feeling.  You are not alone!

Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. writes in a Collection of Sobering Thoughts (Volume 17), “When trying to quit drinking, it is extremely important for us to be around persons who feed us positive messages.  We cannot be around persons, who when learning that we’ve quit drinking say, ‘It’s just about time.’  Comments like that we don’t need.

Self-help groups are extremely valuable because the members reinforce each other’s commitment to a life of sobriety.  Why we are quitting drinking begins to have some appeal.  It may not be much, but we will be leaning in the right direction.  Another very important result of all this is that our defiance and anger lessen.  Even our fears begin to lessen and we start to have some real good feelings about ourselves.  It begins to look like we might make lasting sobriety this time.”  Sobriety and recovery?  Yes, you can!

Hugzzz

Karen

---

Hi 4C Women,

What I deeply appreciate about support groups like ours is that we continue to learn from each other.  I’ve said this before, and I will keep saying it because the insight and life experience of those courageous women who walked into a WFS meeting or into a zoom room are the encouragers for others of how to work towards a New Life.  In one word, their recovery journey brings HOPE when it is needed the most.  In a world where there are struggles, uncertainty and even fear of being able to live free and supported in a sober world, we share a commonality that doesn’t need explanation.  As Karen said, it’s important to remember we are not alone, we are accepted and encouraged to keep trying.

I found my recovery path in WFS over 33 years ago.  As a facilitator, I wanted to be sure that it was a safe place for women to share, to know they would not be judged if they faltered.  Along the way, there was a lot of bonding together as well as sharing of fabulous coping tools.  I met women who empowered each other with uplifting insights and sharing positive characteristics in each other that they themselves had yet to discover.  In the end, we all learned that it was still each woman’s responsibility to take in all this incredible encouragement and support and create the New Life they yearned for and eventually believed they deserved.

What do you consider your major stumbling block in accepting responsibility?

Do you have an action plan to work towards accepting responsibility?

How are you an encouraging supporter and giving back to others what you received in your New Life?

How does HOPE show up in your world?

What responsibilities have you taken on in your recovery that has somewhat surprised and yet created confidence in your capabilities?

What coping tool has helped you the most?

What self-care/well-being actions are you taking?

Remember, it doesn’t matter why you start, it matters why you stay.

Bonded in your willingness to start being in charge of your life and well-being; bonded in playing it forward, Dee

---

Thanks again for a fantastic conference! We reached over 550 women and raised over $100,000 to bring the New Life Program to women in recovery. If you attended this year’s conference, please don’t forget to fill out the conference evaluation today!

“The tests we face in life’s journey are not to reveal our weaknesses but to help us discover our inner strengths.  We can only know how strong we are when we strive and thrive beyond the challenges we face.”  ~~Kemi Sogunle

“It was so risky and so scary, and yet at the same time, so beautiful.  Maybe the truth was, it shouldn’t be easy to be amazing.  Then everything would be.  It’s the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth.  When something’s difficult to come by, you’ll do that much more to make sure it’s even harder—if not impossible to lose.”  ~~Sarah Dessen

“Take a limitation and turn it into an opportunity.  Take an opportunity and turn it into an adventure by dreaming BIG!”  ~~Jo Franz

---

#12 I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.

This is what I am, and I shall know it always.

---

Did you feel it?

It was there, overflowing through computer screens, iphones and tablets. It was there in brightly lit rooms and quiet corners, and it was there because YOU DID IT and together, WE DID IT! You and countless other 4C women pulled off something amazing: WFS Conference 2021!   It was like Statement #12 came alive over the weekend!

Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., began with a thought….and from that thought came a recovery program designed for women.  Jean knew there was a void and sought to fill it; and WFS was born.  Years later, women continue to gather in support of each other, online, face to face and by phone or text/email.  It is that bond, that connection that envelopes us, creating a bridge to a New Life filled with freedom, possibility, growth.

From our absolutely touching Opening Ceremony to the amazing keynote speakers and connecting breakout sessions, this weekend brought women together.  We laughed, we cried, and we learned.  We felt listened to and heard.  We felt safe and secure.  We felt the untold number of volunteer hours put together from behind the scenes.  We gave our time, talents and donations.  We learned more about ourselves and who we wish to be.  We saw old friends and created new ones.  We embraced our value and worth. We felt the beauty of living a sober and clean life and we opened ourselves up to possibility.  We are competent women and we will know it always!

Hugzzz

Karen

---

Hi 4C Women,

So many competent women gathered in one place.  It was amazing.  As many of you know, I have been a part of WFS for over 30 years and it is wonderful that I continue to be blessed with learning life lessons from all these phenomenal 4C women.  I am filled with such peace in the understanding and acceptance that this recovery journey is just that – a journey, not a destination.  Knowing that helps me in those unsettling times when I begin to question why my work is not done.  I am grateful for the awareness that continued growth is what life is all about.

Seasons change and so do I in adapting and creating balance with those changes.  It’s comforting to have this awareness.  Years ago, I was unwilling to change and perhaps that worked in my favor as one of the keynote speakers, Rebecca Ray, shared that we have protectors that help up fight against pain and hurt.  Those protectors worked really hard to block my hurt and it wasn’t their fault that I was fearful of change. They were doing their job.  It was however, as she shared, my responsibility to change how I coped with those hurtful feelings.   I learned that it is important to bring those protectors along the journey, to embrace with them with compassion as we take responsibility in becoming that competent woman we are and always have been.  Ignoring the pain and hurt as we mature blocks our ability to grow emotionally and spiritually.

I have always said that in our life, we are teachers and students.  It’s knowing who we are at any given time.  I can now thank my protectors as I was growing up when I didn’t have much needed coping tools.  As I said, they did their job.  As an adult, I realized I had to work through the hurt and pain to be in charge of my life, to have an emotionally healthy recovery and to show the world that I was indeed a competent woman who had much to give life.

Another speaker, Mary Beth O’Connor, shared how introducing herself as a competent woman was challenging yet after a few weeks, she found herself sitting up straight, feeling empowered.  I love the way she expressed it as a powerful identifier.

While I have always described the italicized part of each Statement as the action part, I appreciated how the first part was described as our “belief.”  So, believing you are competent as the first part of Statement 12 says, the action part is to live it as your daily truth.  I have a 3×5 index card that I carry with me.  On the front is the word STOP!  On the back are words describing who I am today, things I have accomplished and the positive changes I have made in my recovery.  They are my truth.  When the feeling of being incompetent starts to creep in or any negative thoughts about myself, I pull out my card with the truth of who I am today.   I have found it to be useful for several of the Statements.  Here are some questions to get your started on your own STOP! card:

What are 3 or more empowering words to describe yourself?

What positive changes have you made?

What is your personal affirmation?

I am competent in the way I _________________

I have accomplished __________________

What gifts, talents do I possess?

Bonded in knowing “I am possible!” – Dee

---

Post-Conference Replay Period Continues Through June 27th!

“When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.”  ~~Shannon L. Alder

“Just imagine becoming the way you used to be as a very young child, before you understood the meaning of any word, before opinions took over your mind.  The real you is loving, joyful and free.  The real you is just like a flower, just like the wind, just like the ocean, just like the sun.”  ~~Don Miguel Ruiz

“If we can just let go and trust things will work out the way they’re supposed to, without trying to control the outcome, then we can begin to enjoy the moment more fully.  The joy of freedom it brings becomes more pleasurable than the experience itself.”  ~~Goldie Hawn

---

#11 Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.

I treasure the moments of my New Life.

---

One of the greatest feelings of freedom today is experiencing life with all its intricacies, simply sober.  There is something that feels absolutely refreshing about being present. It runs through the body like a current of childlike wonder, bringing a sense of vibrancy and aliveness.  Statement #11 can take us there at any moment we choose.

Alcohol or drugs negated feelings of balance and joy.  It hung like a dark cloud and cast doubt and insecurity.  It kept the colorful door of life shut and painted everything in varying degrees of gray.  Over time, fear and feelings of lack developed and any childlike enthusiasm vanished.

Yet, enthusiasm is brimming wide and expanding… especially this week! Our annual WFS Conference is upon us (our second time virtually due to covid) and each day WFS will have icebreaker activities to jump start the upcoming weekend.  It’s time to get your toolkits ready, have schedules in hand and connect with other 4C women!  We have a variety of exceptional keynote speakers and breakout sessions.  Our theme this year is “I’m Possible” so get ready for connection, fun and loads of enthusiasm!

Click here to sign up and register for this empowering WFS 2021 Conference

Hugzzz

Karen

---

Hi 4C Women,

In addition to the phenomenal keynote speakers, there is a plethora of breakout sessions available at the virtual conference. I am overwhelmingly enthusiastic about the opportunities for personal growth!  After all these years, I continue to be open to change, learning new ways to cope, to embrace living an enthusiastic life and treasuring the moments.  All of this is possible because of the WFS Program.  Whenever life throws me a curve ball, of which there have been many, I go back to the Statements and am filled with needed direction and positive ways to help me work through it.  What I have learned as well is that when I make mistakes along the decision-making path, I am not a mistake.  I am student willing to learn and make different choices.  I am also surrounded by supportive women who encourage me, building me up to keep moving forward.  That support alone fills me with enthusiasm, reminding me that I am resilient and building a very useful tool box for upcoming issues/concerns.

Years ago, I had zero confidence in my choices, fearful of each mistake, feeling I was incapable of any positive outcome.  When I think back to that woman, I am in awe of how the WFS Program transformed me into a 4C woman – an extraordinary change.  Of course, that change depended on my willingness to practice the Statements.  I have always said that while the program is phenomenal, it’s only words on a piece of paper unless you are willing to put action behind the words.

The conference is an opportunity to learn, to share, to build a magnificent tool box to practice this life-changing program to be the 4C woman you’ve always been.   Be ready to blossom with enthusiasm!

Bonded in becoming enthusiastic and treasuring the moments of your New Life, Dee