Posted on

Monday Thoughts 4/27/2020

“She believed she could, so she did.”  ~~Unknown

“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”  ~~Dalai Lama

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”  ~~Marthe Troly-Curtin

_______________________________________________________________

#5 I am what I think.

I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.

_______________________________________________________________

Statement #5, the core of the WFS New Life Program, lays the foundation for who we are and where we are going. For many women, this can be a new way of thinking and an enormously powerful assertion. In the past, it may have been more comfortable to have someone else dictate who we were or how to live our life.

In our WFS Program booklet, it states “It is important for all women to know and use, the power of their mind and thoughts. However, it is most important for women with drug and alcohol problems to use our minds to enhance our well-being. We can consciously build positive images of ourselves. We create a new self in our mind first.”

It is critical to oversee our minds, especially now with uncertainty in the news and on social media. Being able to create a pause, or distance between unhealthy or repetitive thoughts takes daily practice. One of the most helpful tools I learned to let go unproductive thoughts came from a guided meditation. While I cannot recall the author, the speaker described a small, cool stream outlined with trees. Imagine yourself sitting comfortably along the edge of the water. A large, bright yellow leaf gently falls from a tree and lands on top of the water near you. If there is a thought that you would like to let go of, picture that thought as that yellow leaf. Your eyes are staring at this leaf. It glides down the stream, slowly at first, twirling round and round. You do not chase after it but continue watching it. You can see distance now between you and leaf and soon, it is only a tiny speck of color, then it is gone. It held your gaze but you did not run after it, you did not try to catch it, you simply let it go. This one tool consistently aides in releasing what is no longer needed.

How do you manage your thoughts today?

Hugzzz

Karen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi 4C Women,

With so much time for reflection, I have been finding many of my writings from over the years and I am grateful to have them.  During this current time, I find myself starting to question who I think I am.  Before sobriety, I constantly questioned my positive characteristics and honestly, when asked to list as many positive qualities as possible, I was fortunate if I got past 3 and that was a struggle.  The lists I have made over the years are like a history lesson of my own personal emotional growth, my nurturing and beginning of the planting of positive seeds to answer the question, “Who do I think I am?”  I feel that with the social isolation, I have lost some of my identity and my purpose not to mention my energy level is so up and down.  Thank goodness for WFS and Karen’s message to remind all of us that while circumstances have changed, our core foundation of who we are remains strong and if it’s not where you wish it to be, we have the time, support and encouragement to begin or continue building it.  And the best part, for me, is that I no longer see my inability to do certain tasks (computer technology, fixing broken items, learning a new skill, etc.) as weaknesses.  I see them for what they are – just things I’m not gifted with as I have other gifts, talents, skills as we all do.  I have learned to seek help with what I cannot do and share with others what I can.

One of my favorite exercises for this statement is to list as many positive qualities, talents, characteristics as possible on a 3×5 index card and on the front in bold letters, write STOP.  Keep it in your purse and whenever you start any negative self-talk, the negative adjectives that you feel define yourself, take out the STOP card, turn it over and read the truthful definition of who you are in your own words.  You could even ask others what positive word they would use to describe you and include that.

2nd exercise:  Practice this exercise and use it whenever you need a quick reminder of how to feel good about yourself.  Exercise from“The Self-Esteem Companion.”

1.  Recall a time when you felt really cared for and loved.

        It can be a big event or a small moment.

2.  Think back to a time when you felt really successful.

        Anytime will do as long as it provides a strong memory

of your feelings of success.

3.  Remember a time that you did something important for

someone else.  It can by any moment of selflessness

that’s important to you.

4. Look for a memory of loving someone else.  Think back to

a moment when you felt love for another very strongly,

when that feeling filled your heart.

I’ve done this exercise a few times and it’s amazing how different the answers were depending on what I was feeling or experiencing that day.  What I love about this exercise is that the answers don’t require a huge event, although that is certainly just fine if it is a big event in your life.  Big or small, it’s about those moments of awareness that remind you how much you matter, how much positive feelings/moments you have experienced when you give quiet time to reflect.  What this exercise has helped me do in moments of doubt, of feeling sad or missing out, is that no matter how big or small, I have been fortunate enough to have experienced these moments of being cared for, love/loved, successful and gave selflessly as so many are doing right now.

Bonded in being part of a phenomenal group of 4C woman, Dee

Register Now

Posted on

Virtual Conference April Update

WFS Virtual Weekend Conference

June 12 – 14

Hello 4C warrior women,

We hope this notice finds you healthy and safe during these unprecedented times.  As you may have heard, our in-person annual conference had to be postponed to 2021 due to the ongoing Covid-19 crisis.  However, we are very proud to announce that this year we will be offering our first totally virtual conference June 12th-14th with the growth inspiring theme of ENVISION IT!

Register Now


ENVISION IT!

This exciting conference will feature the following:

  • Live Keynote addresses by important thought leaders in the addiction field
  • 13 inspiring workshops focusing on New Life topics and self- growth
  • Live opening and closing ceremonies
  • Live WFS meetings
  • A fun New Life Celebration event complete with entertainment and fundraising.
  • The opportunity to watch any portions of the live conference you may have missed by accessing recorded sessions that will be available only to registrants for the entire week following conference.
That is an unbelievable value, especially when you consider that virtual conferences prices are significantly lower than in-person prices. This year conferences tickets can be purchased at one of three levels shown below.  This is a sliding scale and there is no difference in what activities are included in your Conference registration based on price.

 

  • $25 – Compassion Rate – Anticipated to be 50% of WFS’s actual costs for technology and other fees for the event.
  • $50 – Sustaining Rate – Anticipated to be 100% of WFS’s actual costs for technology and other fees for the event.
  • $75 – Benefactress Rate – Anticipated to be 150% of WFS’s actual costs for technology and other fees for the event. Women selecting this rate will receive a tax receipt for $25 of the fee.*

Register Now


New!
Virtual Conference 

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What do I need to be able to attend the conference?
A: You can use just about any device – laptop, desktop computer, notebook, tablet, cell phone, or even a touchtone landline – to access the workshops and presentations. Live workshops will use Zoom.. There will also be a conference website with information and connection opportunities, so an internet connection and browser is highly recommended. To get the best interactive experience during sessions, you will want to have a camera, microphone, and speakers.

Q: Do I have to purchase a Zoom account to participate?
A: No. On most devices, you can attend as a guest, without any Zoom account at all, although you may wish to create a free Zoom account to enable a more streamlined sign-on experience.

Q: When I watch the live programs, will my face show up on the screen?
A: If you choose to enable your video, your face may be visible to others. To prevent this, do not activate your camera.

Q: I understand all sessions will be recorded to watch for up to one week after the conference weekend at my leisure. How do I access the content? Can I download the videos to watch later?
A: We will have a special conference website with embedded movie files. There will be a discussion section for each workshop, so you can continue to engage with other participants for an additional week. To respect the privacy of our presenters, downloading will not be possible, and you will be asked to agree to not attempt to record or download sessions as part of your registration.

Q: Can I still interact during the sessions even if I don’t want to appear on any recordings?
A: Yes! Some presenters may elect to pause recording during discussion periods, small group work using the “breakout” function of Zoom will never be recorded, and any typed chat will also be omitted from the recordings.

Q: What if I have technical problems during the conference?
A: We are training a Geek Gal Support Squad to support attendees. There will be practice Open House drop-in Zoom gatherings during the pre-conference week, and Geek Gals will be available by phone at the WFS office number (215-536-8026) throughout the event.

Check out the full FAQ here.

Register Now


Conference Agenda

We are so excited to share our fantastic schedule and line-up of amazing growth inspiring workshops led by both our generous professional and peer facilitators.

Pre-conference activities begin Sunday, June 7th.

Friday, June 12th, 2020

  • 7:00 – 8:00 pm          Opening Ceremony – Visualizing Growth
  • 9:00 pm                     WFS Meeting

Saturday, June 13th, 2020

  • 8:30 am                    WFS Meeting
  • 10:00 – 11:30 am     Workshops/Breakout Sessions
          • Riding the Waves of Grief in a time of Uncertainty
          • EnVision Boards
          • Yoga and the 13 statements
          • Love Can Change the Course of My World.  Caring is all Important
  • 12:00 – 12:45 pm    Keynote – Recovery as a Practice with Dawn Nickels, PhD
  • 1:30 – 3:30 pm       Workshops/Breakout Sessions
          • Five Money Questions for Women
          • Relapse:  Common but not Necessary
          • Practicing Peace: The Path to Joy and Prosperity
          • The Sober Mindset: Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life
          • An Organization of Women, For Women
  • 3:30 – 4:30 pm        WFS Meeting
  • 5:00 – 6:00 pm        WFS Meeting
  • 6:00 – 7:30 pm        New Life Celebration-Fun, Fundraising & Entertainment
  • 10:00 pm                 Pajama Party WFS Meeting

Sunday, June 14th, 2020

  • 8:30 am                  WFS Meeting
  • 10:00- 11:30 am      Workshops/Breakout Sessions        
          • Taking Back Control: Telling the Right Story
          • Exploring Different Types of Meditation to Enhance Sobriety
          • 4C Facilitation:  Bringing WFS to Your Community
          • All Love Given Returns.  I Am Learning to Know That I Am Loved.
  • 12:00 – 12:45 pm    Keynote – Self-Compassion, Self Esteem and Recovery in Times of Great Uncertainty with Lynn Matti, MA
  • 1:30 – 3:30 pm       Workshops/Breakout Sessions
          • Intuitive Eating in Recovery
          • Gratitude is MORE Than an Attitude
          • Healing Power of the 13 Statement Bracelet Making
          • Expressive Writing: A Guide to Wonder and Wellbeing
  • 4:00 pm                   Closing Ceremony – Manifesting a New You
  • 5:30 pm                    WFS Meeting

Monday, June 15th, 2020 through Sunday, June 21st, 202

  • Recorded sessions available via online streaming and discussion

ALL TIMES ARE LISTED IN U.S. EASTERN TIME – Click here to convert to your time zone!

Register Now

Stay up to date as conference plans develop by visiting the
WFS Annual Weekend Conference 2020 web page.


We hope you will join us for this exciting event.
Enthusiastically Yours!
Adrienne Miller
President/CEO
Women for Sobriety, Inc.

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 4/20/2020

“You are not a problem that needs solving.”  ~~Eckhart Tolle

“When it hurts—observe.  Life is trying to teach you something.”  ~~Anita Krizzan

“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying.  What you can do is calm yourself.  The storm will pass.”  ~~Timber Hawkeye
_______________________________________________________________

#4 Problems bother me only to the degree I permit.

I now better understand my problems. 

I do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
_______________________________________________________________

As we settle in new patterns of behavior to help manage our lives during this global crisis, Statement #4 in action can be a lifesaver and game changer.  For example, this past week my emotions have been on a roller coaster; filled with hope and ease one minute and seemingly seconds later, feeling gripped by fear, anger and uncertainty.  Through this tidal wave of emotions, practicing Statement #4 enables me to slow down, investigate and move through uneasy or rapidly shifting feelings.

We are not our problems.  A problem is an obstacle, something standing in the way on our path.  It can be easy to enlarge or fixate on problems, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed. In the past, alcohol or drugs removed our ability to solve problems.  Today, the WFS New Life Program enables us to first identify, manage and move through problems.

Here are 4 tools to aid in practicing Statement #4:

1.       Control what is in your control:  You are in charge of your mind, your thoughts and your life.   We do not have control over what other people say, do or believe.  Also, act within your home and world.  Organize, clean or simply enjoy your space.  Create manageable routines and adjust as necessary.

2.       Limit daily news and social media: Give yourself a time limit each day on what you listen to, watch or scroll. Much like managing nutritional intake, provide a “No Social Media/News Zone” and examine how your energy and mental fitness responds.

3.       Connect to positivity: No one knows when we can resume group activities right now, but we can connect to positive actions. Whether story time with grandchildren over our phones or iPads, it is possible to connect to others during this time of uncertainty.  Do you craft? Sing? Sew? Organize? Are you exceptional with Excel? Find ways to give back to your community. Is a neighbor having a birthday? (Hint, just google “birthday parade” and have fun watching the videos)

4.       Move or soothe your body: Walking, yoga, meditation and exercise help move the body, facilitate balance and boost our brains. Each day, carve out time for your physical self, even sitting outdoors connecting to nature can increase feelings of well-being.  Planting flowers and gardening are excellent activities and can have beautiful or even tasty rewards.

How will you practice Statement #4 this week?

Hugzzz

Karen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi 4C Women,

A problem, as Karen says, is an obstacle if we retreat because we are fearful of making a mistake, lacking confidence in our problem-solving skills and perhaps seeing “everything” as a problem, ending up learning nothing and losing the ability to trust our gut instincts.  I sometimes place a number on a particular problem from 1 being a low priority and 10 being a top priority.   I know it sounds just like those customer surveys at the end of a store visit or online ordering yet I feel it helps in determining the value of using my time and energy for a problem at a #3 compared to a #10.  It also helps in visually seeing the importance of a problem.  I can then focus on a solution rather than focusing solely on the problem. It provides a creative atmosphere in my mind to begin problem-solving.  This has helped me in lessening the feeling of being overwhelmed to the point where I can’t function at all and that could become a trigger for me.  So, it’s about generating solutions, comparing the options, make a plan or two, getting input, follow through and evaluate how the decision worked for me.   I don’t know about you but I have learned more from my mistakes which have really shown me that I am resilient and have perseverance.  Those are two characteristics I would not have used to define me in the past.  There are always consequences to a solution so that becomes part of my problem-solving.  Can I cope with the consequence?  That’s important when you make your decision to act.  It helps to know in advance the “what ifs” and being prepared to handle it.  I like to sometimes use positive words/phrases like what is the “best” that could happen or “Imagine if” the best outcome happened.

I recently shared part of a letter my mother wrote many years ago about her journey as a single mom in the 1940s.  I was 2 and my sister, Dawn, was 6.  One night, there was only one can of soup in the house that my mom gave to my sister and me.  She was crying, feeling all alone and blue.  We lived in a narrow row house, 3 floors, one bathroom.  She rented the bottom and top floor while we lived on the 2nd floor, using the bathroom to wash our dishes.  The boarders stopped paying rent, my bio father stopped paying the $10 a week child support and my mother had no one.  There was a knock at the door that night and when she opened it, there was a bag of oranges and apples.  A little while later, another knock at the door and there was my aunt with a bag of groceries.  My mom never shared her struggle so she felt somebody up above must have cared about her to send my aunt and a neighbor with much needed food.  Here’s what really touched my heart.  She says, “We really had it nice though.  I put in my own linoleum and painted the back room for you and Dawn.  Got a sofa bed to sleep on. I got a job working at a factory earning $40 a week and the family was together.”   When I think of the situation we are all in now, I appreciate the courage and strength my mom possessed that I didn’t recognize until I first read that letter and now reading it again.  Plus, my mom didn’t drive and either walked or took a bus. What a difference in how fortunate we are today to have technology to keep us connected, to have a caring support system and knowing it is perfectly ok to ask for help.  I have shelter, food, a car, family, friends and even a new dog I can love.  Her letter helped me so much with Statement #4.   What I am learning is that we all respond differently even when we are all in the same circumstance.  I’m understanding that there is a part of my mother in me and then the part that is struggling with fear, concern and just the unknown.  I also accept that it is okay to experience these up and down feelings.  And while my mother struggled alone, we do not.  We have each other and that is a gift I plan on keeping and remembering long after this is over.

Bonded in strength, courage and learning how to problem solve in these challenging times, Dee

Register Now

Posted on

WFS Spring 2020 Newsletter

Women for Sobriety

Spring Update

April 15,2020


WFS Responds to the Pandemic

In a March, 2020 meeting the Women for Sobriety Board of Directors discussed the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on the WFS major service areas.  The President/CEO and Board have focused on finding solutions that balance protecting public health with supporting women in recovery.  Here are the ways in which WFS is meeting these challenges:

  • WFS Online, which provides 24/7 support for any woman with an internet connection, began providing video meetings led by our Certified Chat Leaders. In addition, a daily morning check-in, “Great Start Girlfriends”, has been started to provide an informal and positive start to the day using the new video chat software.
  • Free G Suite accounts and/or Zoom meetings have been offered to Certified Moderators so that local WFS meetings can continue when meeting face-to-face is not possible. To date nearly 75% of WFS meetings are continuing online!
  • The WFS Annual Weekend Conference has been moved to a virtual event for 2020, while plans for rescheduling the physical 2021 event are being made. We are excited that lower registration fees and ability to attend from home will bring the conference experience to life for more women than ever before.
  • The WFS online bookstore continues to operate, with shipping frequency slightly reduced to 2x weekly (from normal 3x weekly) due to decreased demand and to reduce essential travel needs.
  • WFS staff are now telecommuting for most tasks, allowing uninterrupted services and causing no loss of income for any of our valued employees.

WFS Depends on Your Generosity to Continue Delivering Our Services

Donate Now


Attend Conference – Virtually!

In the interest of everyone’s health and safety, WFS has postponed our physical event to 2021. However, we know that many women need support, connection, and inspiration like never before. For that reason WFS is still having a conference 2020 but in a new way – virtually!

WFS Virtual Weekend Conference
June 12-14, 2020

Click here for details

Recorded presentations available through June 21, 2020.
(Only presenters will be recorded – your privacy is important to us!)

To make the conference accessible to as many women as possible during these challenging times, we have created a sliding scale of fees. We request your compassion for yourself and for WFS by self-selecting the rate that is best suited to your current economic situation, while also providing maximum support for our life-saving organization. Scholarships are also available.

  • $25 – Compassion Rate
  • $50 – Sustaining Rate
  • $75 – Benefactress Rate (Deductible portion: $25)

Register Now


Teddy Bear Challenge

Bunnies are here!

This year, to honor our gracious volunteer BunnyH who has taken over coordinating the challenge, we add bunnies to the collection! Teddy Bears will still be in the drawing, offering their hugs and comfort. The Bunnies are hopping along to offer their hope for a loving and peaceful recovery.

Stay up to date with the Class of 2020, on the WFS Online community at https://wfsonline.org.

Triple Your Money for WFS!

Double-Match – An angel donor has pledged to match this year’s conference season donations 2-to-1, up to a total of $20,000 (with $40,000 in matching funds). Triple your money by giving to this year’s TBC!

Additional Incentives (US donors) – The 2020 CARES Act allows for increased deductions on federal income taxes for the 2020 tax year:

  • Standard Deductions – Those taking the non-itemized standard deduction may receive an additional deduction for up to $300 in charitable giving.
  • Itemized Deductions – Amounts over $300 are fully deductible (up to 100% of AGI) for taxpayers who itemize their deductions.

(See Sections 2104-2105 of the 2020 CARES Act. Please consult your tax professional.)

Read more about the Teddy Bear Challenge
A Note from BunnyH

We are facing unprecedented changes in the way we live, work, and connect during the current public health crisis. Many women need the support and comfort of being able to connect to Sisters in recovery, and WFS has swiftly adapted to the changing needs of the community.

If you value the WFS Program and what it has meant to you, please consider a donation to the 2020 Teddy Bear Challenge. I encourage all of you to attend the 2020 Virtual Conference to receive support and to share a kind word with another sister.

Hugs and Aloha,
Bunny

Donate to the Teddy Bear Challenge


In Memoriam

Michaelyn Silbert Fidone

“…her passion was her commitment to helping women achieve sobriety. As the Los Angeles Certified Moderator for Women for Sobriety for over 25 years, she helped hundreds of women cope with and defeat addiction. For her work she was commended by the City and County of Los Angeles, the California State Senate and the California State Assembly as well as the U.S. Congress.”  Read Michaelyn’s full obituary here

Deborah Stern, “das”

A talented cook and an accomplished seamstress, Deborah loved to swim a mile nearly every day. In retirement, she began a successful dog sitting business. She was known for a wicked sense of humor and a penchant for small kindnesses, remembering birthdays and special occasions with handwritten notes.
Read Deborah’s full obituary here

“das” honored WFS with a significant bequest, and her sister shared these kind words about what WFS meant to them both. Thank you, Nikki, for sharing your sister and your memories with WFS!


Replay

CIGNA  Substance Use Disorders Series
Self-Imaging in Recovery

Listen as WFS President/CEO Adrienne Miller discusses the impact of addiction on multiple areas of life, and how many people with a substance use disorder feel a strong loss of identity when they try to make changes to their substance use. Adrienne explores why this is and share some simple methods to help the recovering person redefine their self-image to one of an empowered, capable, and sober individual.

The SoberSoul Recovery Podcast 
Women for Sobriety New Life Program

Lynn Matti talks with the Adrienne Miller, President/CEO of WFS, to talk about how the New Life Program has been helping women and can assist you on your journey through recovery from just about anything.

Lynn, The Sober Therapist, will be joining the WFS Virtual Weekend Conference 2020 for our Sunday Keynote Address


New Meetings

London, ON (Sat)    Saturday    10:00 AM

Bedell, NB    Wednesday    6:30 PM

Bend, OR    Thursday    2:00 PM

Palm  Harbor, FL    Tuesday    6:30 PM

Concord, NH (Monday)    Monday    12:00 PM

Concord, NH (Thursday)    Thursday    7:00 PM

* Most new meetings are starting up using video format due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Posted on

New WFS Meeting – Concord, NH (Monday)

WFS is proud to announce the start of a new face-to-face meeting!

Concord, NH

Mondays at 12:00 PM

Start Date 4/13/2020

Please email 1118@womenforsobriety.org with questions and to obtain the exact location of the meeting.

Please join us in extending our gratitude to the volunteer Certified Moderator who has made the commitment to bring the New Life Program to her local community!

If you are feeling inspired to bring WFS to your local community, please review the requirements for becoming a Certified Moderator and contact the Face-to-Face Management Team for assistance.

Posted on

New WFS Meeting – Concord, NH (Thursday)

WFS is proud to announce the start of a new face-to-face meeting!

Concord, NH

Thursdays at 7:00 PM

Start date 4/16/2020

Please email 1119@womenforsobriety.org with questions and to obtain the exact location of the meeting.

Please join us in extending our gratitude to the volunteer Certified Moderator who has made the commitment to bring the New Life Program to her local community!

If you are feeling inspired to bring WFS to your local community, please review the requirements for becoming a Certified Moderator and contact the Face-to-Face Management Team for assistance.

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 4/13/2020

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”  ~~Aesop

“Happiness is acceptance.  ~~Unknown

“The grass is always greener where you water it.”  ~~Unknown
_______________________________________________________________

#3 Happiness is a habit I am developing.

Happiness is created, not waited for.
_______________________________________________________________

Last week I was able to celebrate a new milestone in my New Life; 13 years of sobriety.  This felt incredibly special to me, one year for every Statement.  Yet, what is even more significant are all the changes that have come from that initial day of sobriety.

The changes did not occur overnight and have come over an extended period of time.  Statement #3 encourages me to challenge unhappiness and create it myself. The definition of happiness also took on a whole new meaning in my New Life.  In the past, happy meant escaping from reality and having a “good time.” Little did I know that I was creating the opposite effect while cementing emotional turmoil.  Today, happiness feels more like contentment and remains even while feeling imbalance.

As we move through this time of uncertainty in our lives, it is important to keep joy, happiness, contentment and even laughter present.  Below, you will find a calendar that can be used to track, implement and continue to find joy as we live and adapt to ever changing circumstances.  Stay healthy, be well.

What methods help you to remain balanced during this global crisis?

Hugzzz

Karen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi 4C Women,

I love this calendar and have subscribed to receiving it by email for over a year.  I love the positive reminders as it relates to various feelings such as coping for April.  It may seem extremely challenging to practice Statement #3 at this time yet it is crucial that we have a foundation in place to sustain us as we work through the ups and downs of social distancing.

Jean always said that happiness comes in moments.  It’s the awareness of those moments that we can hold onto in our memory banks.  Those precious moments will help build our foundation.  I call it contentment as Karen does.  There is a strong sense of contentment and peace that keeps me assured I will make it through this pandemic.  It also helps me accept that my feelings – a mixture of fear and hope – are okay.  I, too, understand that I denied or tried to ignore my fears which led to drinking.  Now I can say I don’t fear, fear.  It’s a natural response to circumstances.  It’s how I cope and respond to fear today that makes the difference.  That’s where the strong foundation I created gives me hope and, yes, courage.  So, if I feel sad, disappointed, concerned or unsure, I am okay with that.  I accept it, I examine it and then cope by working diligently on recalling fond memories and am grateful for those and the new ones I will create.

I decided to clean out my bedroom closet and found so many treasures I had completely forgotten such as my mom’s Easter hats, button collection that was hers and won me an award when I was a little kid for having the most different buttons, a love letter my dad wrote to my mom, lots of professional photos of my granddaughter growing up, wigs from the 70s and so much more.  I found myself smiling and crying and then smiling again.  There were a lot of memories buried in that closet and I wouldn’t have gone through it if it wasn’t for the social distancing.  I’ve also been in contact with so many people and that’s been such a gift.  So, Jean was so right when she said happiness comes in moments.  It is our willingness to create and be aware of those moments, hold onto them and know new ones are out there.

What happiness moments have you experienced recently?

Can you recall past happy moments in this time of quiet solitude?

What is giving you hope and courage?

Bonded in developing happiness and building a foundation of contentment, Dee

Posted on

New WFS Meeting – Palm Harbor, FL

WFS is proud to announce the start of a new face-to-face meeting!

Palm Harbor, FL

Tuesdays at 6:30 PM

Please email 1117@womenforsobriety.org with questions and to obtain the exact location of the meeting.

Please join us in extending our gratitude to the volunteer Certified Moderator who has made the commitment to bring the New Life Program to her local community!

If you are feeling inspired to bring WFS to your local community, please review the requirements for becoming a Certified Moderator and contact the Face-to-Face Management Team for assistance.

Posted on

New WFS Meeting – Bend, OR

WFS is proud to announce the start of a new face-to-face meeting!

Bend, OR

Thursdays at 2:00 PM

Start Date: 3/26/2020

Please email 1113@womenforsobriety.org with questions and to obtain the exact location of the meeting.

Please join us in extending our gratitude to the volunteer Certified Moderator who has made the commitment to bring the New Life Program to her local community!

If you are feeling inspired to bring WFS to your local community, please review the requirements for becoming a Certified Moderator and contact the Face-to-Face Management Team for assistance.

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 4/6/2020

“A negative attitude drains, a positive attitude energizes.”  ~~Lindsey Rietzsch

“Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.”  ~~Proverb

“Try giving up all the thoughts that make you feel bad, or even just some of them, and see how doing that changes your life.  You don’t need negative thoughts.  All they have ever given you was a false sense that suffers.”  ~~Gina Lake

_______________________________________________________________

#2 Negative thoughts destroy only myself.

My first conscious sober act is to reduce negativity in my life.

_______________________________________________________________

The WFS New Life Program encourages change and adaptability which is exactly what is called for during this time of uncertainty.  Statement #2 in action is essential right now and many women are changing how they spend their days; from limiting daily news to taking extra precautions when needing to go out.

Repeated exposure to negativity creates a shortcut in our brains.  Just listening to warnings over and over can create a” groove” if you will, for quick responses to uncertainty or fear.  It is a normal function of our brain.  It works to keep us safe from dangers like facing a bear or burning a finger on a hot stove.  Once you feel that intensity, you can heed your internal warning system and run away or not touch the stove.  With each repeated exposure, our brains learn and send signals to keep us safe.

Yet, when it comes to our emotional and mental well-being, some shortcuts can become defined and have the opposite effect.  As shortcuts are made, they can become faster and we can move from well-being to panic in milliseconds.  These feelings can be intense and can distort facts. Logic can be lost while the heart races and you break into a sweat with worry, but in fact, you are safe in your home.

How can we apply and practice this Statement today?  First, pause and take a deep breath.  When worry intensifies or panic appears, stop what you are doing.  Take stock on what is happening in this moment around you.  Be still.  Let the feeling move through you and focus on stillness instead of running around in panic mode.  Know that the feeling will pass and ask yourself what good will come out of holding onto negative thoughts.  Challenge your thinking and ask yourself questions.  The more you practice reducing negativity, the more your emotional intelligence rises.

Stay healthy, be well.

Hugzzzz

Karen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi 4C Women,

This Statement changed the way I spoke to myself when I felt inferior, intimidated or unworthy.  Old messages would come flooding back and I was frozen in fear and inadequacy.  It took a while to change those immediate negative thoughts.  I realized that I also had a negative “attitude” and it was like a complete circle.  My self-talk was negative and my attitude went right along with it.  I pretended a lot back then that everything was “fine” but I was also in full swing with the blame game.  I didn’t recognize it as a negative attitude until I found WFS.  This is not to say that I was not hurt or damaged from the painful words and actions of others.  No, that was authentic pain I kept alive and well long after the damage was done.  I took over where they left off.  WFS provided the turning point in my thinking and attitude.  When I reflect on the untruthful messages from the past, from people who are no longer in my life, Statement 9 made me realize that to keep those damaging messages alive and well in my head was needlessly continuing the pain.   I won’t deny the pain occurred from real life events/people but I finally realized I needed healing, not punishment.  I was blessed with compassionate people along the way who gave me the needed time and loving support to start the healing process.   I still believe in sharing the pain with others who don’t judge me but who understand and encourage.  We all need that.  I also learned that healing is a process.  It’s not a straight path and I’m glad I know that because I might have gone back to that quick self-judgment at a low moment without that knowledge.

I want to say,” Don’t Lose Hope!”  Change is possible with a willing, compassionate heart and loving yourself as you are today, at this very moment.  We are living in a challenging time and our recovery is a top priority for when this is over, we will have learned a lot about ourselves, our resiliency, our courage and our truths as 4C women.

Bonded in reducing negativity, surviving and thriving, supporting and encouraging ourselves and others with positivity, Dee