“The best way out is always through.” ~~Robert Frost
‘Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.” ~~Lemony Snicket
“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” ~~Rudyard Kipling
#13 I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts and my life.
Every day the news changes which can feel quite overwhelming. Uncertainty can play into fear, and fear can play into our states of balance and awareness. Statement #13 in action can alleviate some of that imbalance by shifting our thoughts and actions into what we can do instead of what we cannot do.
In our WFS Program booklet, it states, “Through the New Life Program, we learn we are competent women, trusting our ability to make decisions. It teaches us to be in charge of our minds, our thoughts and our lives.” Each day we trust ourselves to remain sober and to make decisions in life that propel us forward. We are 4C women after all!
Being able to put aside fear or panic allows for responsibility as well as adaptability. Shifting into what we can do during this time of uncertainty can fill us with feelings of control in what seems uncontrollable. As we continue to shift our lives with every new day, look for and embrace what enlivens you; maybe it is time spent with children, family or pets, or maybe it is contemplating the solitude of a passing spring afternoon. Right now, your life in sobriety and recovery is an act of love, and more love is what we can use right now.
Statement #13 Tool: Begin and respond to your day with what you can control. You have many things that are in your control, beginning with your thoughts. Feeling anxious? Examine your thoughts and respond with care. It’s quite easy to feel overwhelmed right now when watching the news so make sure you disconnect from the shows and plug into your mind. Take a moment to sit by a window and focus on nature. If you are able, sit outside and turn your face to the sun. Breathe. Be. Reach out by adapting to virtual connections. Together we will overcome!
Hi 4C Women,
So many thoughts going through my mind as I read Karen’s words of encouragement. One thing I know is that I am grateful for my sobriety. Mostly I am grateful that I have learned to make major changes through applying the 13 Statements over the years and while I am currently experiencing fear and some anxiety, I am also feeling hopeful.
This is a time of change when Statement #13 implores us to acknowledge and accept that we are in charge of our minds, thoughts, and lives. There is fear in the world today and perhaps for the first time in a long while, we are not alone in this experience. It is a collective feeling. For me, that is the good news. I don’t need to hide my fear, be silent about it. The benefit is that when fear isn’t hidden, it creates an atmosphere of clarity in facing our challenges and allows for each of us to extend our caring, compassion and much needed support and reassurance to those around us as we understand these feelings from the depth of our hearts. This shared spoken fear keeps our feelings authentic and that is a gift that supports us emotionally and spiritually.
It is said that people usually adapt one of 3 behavioral styles during times of change: Victim, Survivor, Navigator. I hope to be a Survivor and Navigator, finding my strengths, maintaining my sobriety, avoiding all or nothing thinking, being proactive in taking care of myself while still being available to those in need as I am able.
If you are feeling vulnerable, putting your recovery at risk, I strongly encourage you to seek help asap. You are not alone. Your work thus far means something – it means that you value yourself, you are worthy and deserving. There are many coping tools that can help during this time. Please reach out to a member of your group, the online community or a close, trusted friend or partner. Keep aware of your self-talk. If you hear negative thoughts tumbling around in your mind, perhaps your positive self-talk can be that your sobriety/recovery is your guide in making healthy choices, that you are willing to keep moving forward even when it’s feeling so challenging, that you will seek help and provide help to others if you are able. In other words, acknowledge your feelings, create a plan to work through them, reach out if you need support, make your hard earned sobriety/recovery a priority and perhaps write a letter to yourself as to what you have done so far in support of your sobriety, how much positive change has taken place and why it is of utmost importance to remain the 4C woman you have created through WFS, hard work, determination, courage and what a resilient woman you are because of it!
Dear ________________ (your name),
I am worthy and deserving of my sobriety/recovery because:
These are the actions I will take if I feel my recovery is at risk:
Bonded in being in charge and supporting each other with care and compassion, Dee