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Monday Thoughts 10/14/2019

Monday Thoughts

“Many people think excitement is happiness…But when you are excited you are not peaceful. True happiness is based on peace.” ~~Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Power

“Maybe you think you’ll be entitled to more happiness later by forgoing all of it now, but it doesn’t work that way. Happiness takes as much practice as unhappiness does. It’s by living that you live more. By waiting, you wait more. Every waiting day makes your life a little less. Every lonely day makes you a little smaller. Every day you put off your life makes you less capable of living it.” ~~Ann Brashares, Sisterhood Everlasting

“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, ‘This is what it is to be happy.” ~~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar


Statement #3
Happiness is a habit I am developing.
Happiness is created, not waited for.


Before sobriety and New Life, happiness felt elusive and fleeting, and almost always out of grasp. It was something to be captured, for safekeeping. But happiness cannot not be held down, and no amount of alcohol or substance can bring happiness to life.

Happiness comes to life through the living of life. Sobriety and Statement #3 in action enable the experience of happiness to flow from within. Initially, I had a hard time experiencing happiness in sobriety since my feelings felt flat but with time, joy began to flow.

In our WFS Program booklet, Jean writes, “Happiness never came to me until I learned the secret of making it for myself, of finding an inner glow that somehow made all other things right.” This week make happiness your daily habit and unleash joys in your life.

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

There are so many thoughts that go through my mind when I think of how creating happiness is such an individual process. We all have our personal definitions of what happiness means, how to create it, acknowledge it and retain the memory of it. In looking over some of the material I have on happiness, I am astounded at the many suggestions there are so I’d like to share a few, several that I utilize personally.

I am creating happiness for myself by thinking before speaking. I am happier without a foot in my mouth. This was from an online chat a few years back but I thought it was humorous and true!

I am happy when I let go of toxic people.

 

I am happy when I let go of regret and past mistakes.

 

I am happy when I set healthy boundaries and adhere to them, creating consequences when boundaries are crossed.

 

I am happy when I stop and look up at the blue sky or a beautiful sunset, observing with pure joy.

 

I am happy when I approach new experiences as opportunities for fun, to learn and not as possible mistakes. What a difference that makes.

 

Music makes me so happy and singing while no one is listening is fun too.

 

One of my favorite things that I have done is to make an alter of joy on my nightstand. I change it now and then but the purpose is that when I go to sleep and first thing in the morning is to see items that bring a smile to my face and heart. It is sometimes a photo, a poem, a book or knickknack that reminds me of a loved one.

 

Lastly, being a moderator has brought me the greatest joy of all. It is giving and receiving all wrapped up in one.

 

Bonded in creating our own personal happiness,
your 4C sister

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New WFS Meeting – Albuquerque, NM

WFS is proud to announce the start of a new face-to-face meeting!

Albuquerque, NM

Wednesdays – 5:30 pm

Start Date: 10/16/2019

Please email 1104@womenforsobriety.org with questions and to obtain the exact location of the meeting.

Please join us in extending our gratitude to the volunteer Certified Moderator who has made the commitment to bring the New Life Program to her local community!

If you are feeling inspired to bring WFS to your local community, please review the requirements for becoming a Certified Moderator and contact the Face-to-Face Management Team for assistance.

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 10/7/2019

Monday Thoughts

“It is not always possible to do away with negative thinking, but with persistence and practice, one can gain mastery over them so that they do not take the upper hand.” ~~Stephen Richards

“Do not allow negative people to turn you into one of them.” ~~Unknown

“If I am not persistent with my desire to think about other things, and consciously initiate new circuits of thought, then those uninvited loops can generate new strength and begin to monopolizing my mind again. To counter their activities, I keep a handy list of three things available for me to turn my consciousness toward when I am in a state of need: 1) I remember something I find fascinating that I would like to ponder more deeply, 2) I think about something that brings me terrific joy, or 3) I think about something I would like to do.” ~~ Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight


Statement #2
Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act is to reduce negativity in my life.


Jill Bolte Taylor, author of one of my favorite books, My Stroke of Insight, utilizes wisdom in combating negativity. By changing the topic of what her consciousness is focusing on, she changes her outlook. Not allowing negativity to overwhelm, she stays engaged and aware, exactly how Statement #2 affirms.

Before sobriety and New Life, it was easy to be wrapped up in negativity, or be drawn to it. For many women, alcohol and negativity tended to go hand in hand but with daily practice of Statement #2, that old connection can be lessened or even closed, and a new path created.

The three suggestions that Ms. Taylor turns to instead of negativity can work for anyone. However, you are encouraged to come up with three of your own and share them on the WFS Forum or in your F2F group. If you are not involved with either of these empowering avenues, you can share or discuss with family or friends. It is a great way to reduce negativity and learn other options to manage your thoughts.

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

I love the questions and found question #1 the most challenging in finding something fascinating that I want to ponder more deeply. I jokingly pondered why aging is so difficult with all its aches, pains and restrictions. But then, that seemed a bit negative (lol) and I’m sure Ms. Taylor did not mean that kind of deep pondering. So, I decided to dig deeper as she suggested. I was surprised at how much fascinates me and it’s mostly centered on the question why? Why do we feel our needs are second, why is it so much easier to give than to receive, why are we fearful of rejection, abandonment, unwilling to set healthy boundaries? These are not frivolous questions. I believe they are the stepping stones to real change. For me it is the beginning of paying attention to a negative thought, transforming it by truthfully digging deep for answers and hopefully leading to the path of finding my voice, no longer saying yes automatically when I want to say no, being true to myself. Perhaps my personal question is why do I invalidate myself with negative self-talk when it only continues to hurt. This is how I, and we, learn to turn the negative into a loving positive and mean it, feel it and live it!

In the end, I can see how invaluable each of these questions are in changing a negative thought into a positive one. When I think of what brings me joy and a smile to my face, it’s easier to replace that negative thought.  Hard to be negative when a big, authentic smile is on my face. And it’s even more difficult to be negative when making plans for something I would like to do and then actually do it!

The best part about Statement #2 for me, is that is allows me the time to process reducing my negativity. Words are powerful, use them wisely, lovingly and learn to lift yourself up with positive ones.

Bonded in making a conscious effort to reduce negativity in our lives and our thoughts to promote our well-being and self-love,
your 4C sister