Posted on

Monday Thoughts 10/29/18

Monday Thoughts

“We are what we believe we are.” ~~C.S. Lewis

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.” ~~Oprah Winfrey

“Believe in your dreams. They were given to you for a reason.” ~~Katrina Mayer


Statement #5
  I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.


Art is very inspiring to me; my older sister is an accomplished artist. I recall being mesmerized by her drawings and felt that she possessed some kind of magic. No matter what I did, my drawings paled in comparison and often felt inadequate.

Sobriety and the continual practice of Statement #5 have enabled me to learn to believe in myself. Instead of trying to become a version of my sister, I am developing as an artist, finding my own style and feeling the freedom that comes from being who I am. It is invigorating and the learning process has become joyful.

Over the weekend, I participated in an art show and felt capable of standing in my strength. While still new in the art world, I am able to believe in my abilities. Through the WFS New Life Program and fellow sisters, becoming who I am no longer feels scary. I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate and creative woman!

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

Know your strengths…and focus on them. Remember that what we focus on in our mind is what we give power to. To be empowered is to make ourselves stronger, more confident. It is part of learning to love ourselves, to believe we are capable, competent, caring and compassionate women.

If you had to define yourself in 10 words or more, what would your list look like? Would it be uplifting or judgmental? Would it be encouraging or defeating? Would it be a mixture of praise and judgment?  Would it be difficult to compliment yourself, to list your accomplishments, including healthy relationships? If so, do you know why this is so difficult? Do you think your lists would be similar if you asked a trusted friend to make such a list of your characteristics/personality traits?

It’s important to be compassionate with ourselves as much as we are for others. We need to practice self-care while we are caring for others. While we praise others for their capabilities, we need to praise ourselves. As we share compliments with others on their competency to handle situations/people, we need to recognize our own competency. It’s almost like the golden rule in reverse – treat yourself as you would treat others, especially those you care about.

Last year we did an exercise for Statement #5. This might help in creating your list of 10 words or more:

I am capable of:
I am competent in:
I am caring about:
I am compassionate about:

I hope you will share your list or the answers to these questions with others. Perhaps even ask if they could add anything to it. I believe it will be worth the risk.

Bonded in being 4C Women,
4C WFS Member

Posted on

Organization Update – 10/27/18

Hello Competent Women!

Sorry for the lag between updates (I did warn you that I might miss some, right?). I have come to realize that, in relation to this new job, I haven’t been practicing Statement 1 very well. I have very much been letting the job run me, and it is time to take my power back and take charge of this job! I will admit, this is a bit par for the course for me. Like many of you, I am a woman who is comforted by routines and finds that there is always a period of adjustment when my schedule is changed, for better or worse. But the New Life Program has taught me to not permit myself to become overwhelmed, and to use the adjustment period as an opportunity for growth, exploring and applying new ways to prioritize my emotional and spiritual health.

Anyone who’s friends with me on Facebook may have noticed that I have been listing an awful lot of surplus equipment in the last 2 weeks. One of the Board’s strategic goals is to get all of our printing and AV production outsourced. When Jean started WFS back in the 1970’s, on-site printing and distribution was definitely the more economical option. However, the tides in this area have changed, and it is now more fiscally logical to contract out these needs. We are still reducing our sale item inventory in order to make storage and distribution outsourcing more viable, but have already been successfully contracting out production. Therefore, I have been recouping some of our funds invested in equipment and supplies by selling surplus that is no longer needed. This has been quite successful and has also opened up a lot of space in the office – just in time for the new heaters (see below). Speaking of which, another part of this goal is increasing the availability of WFS materials through downloadable and electronic content. We have already made the Program Booklet available through Kindle. We need your help researching the ins and outs of this new frontier, and volunteers who are either familiar with or willing to learn formatting written and AV content for secure and professional electronic distribution. Any takers?

We had another work party today with some enthusiastic volunteers who helped continue the cleaning and organization effort in the office. The most crucial accomplishment of the day was clearing out the spaces beneath the hanging unit heaters that are being replaced on Monday. This was no small feat, as you can see from the pictures. Bookshelves, filing cabinets, and even our mini-fridge had to be moved so a special lift can be used. My most sincere gratitude and appreciation for these volunteers and for the many women (and one dad!) who donated funds to help pay for the new heaters. It has been quite frustrating that the landlords have refused to help with this cost, but such a wonderful opportunity for me to see how 4C women will always come through!

I met last week with a focus group that helped me evaluate a popular evidence-based recovery app. The company had approached WFS after finding that many of its users are women. In today’s “mommy needs wine” culture, I can’t say that I’m surprised, unfortunately. As PerditaX taught us in our Science of Addiction and Recovery workshop at the WFS Annual Weekend Conference 2018, this is one area in which the gender gap has, unfortunately, almost completely closed. In 1900, men were 3.6 times more likely than women to experience harm as a result of their drinking; by 2000, the ratio was reduced to 1.3 (Slade et al, 2016). It sounds like we may be moving forward on adapting the app to the WFS New Life Program, but I will need a solid commitment from a few volunteers in order to be able to do it. I need women who are very familiar with our New Life philosophy to help comb through the app and make detailed suggestions/edits to make it a true representation of the WFS program. Please let me know if you can commit around 5 hours/week for the next few weeks to help with this!

I also promised you a follow up on the NAADAC conference that I attended earlier this month. It was wonderful to be there sharing our program with so many addiction professionals. A few of them said, “Oh, Women for Sobriety! I didn’t know you guys were still around!” and I assured them that I am determined to change that! Most of them were pleased to hear of our viable option for their women clients for the first time. I’ve often said that I am an amateur neuroscience nerd, and I had some real addiction-counselor-fan-girl moments when I got to see Darryl S. Inaba, PharmD (co-author of Uppers, Downers, All-Arounders) give a keynote address about the neuroscience of addiction (swoon) and when Carlo DiClemente, PhD (co-creator of the Transtheoretical model – or Stages of Change, as it’s more commonly known) stopped by our table and tell me how he always makes sure to include WFS in his counseling textbooks! I was also interviewed for this episode of the Rebellion Dogs Radio podcast. It was a very crowded room and you can hear a little nervous laughter on my part (blush), but I’ll still share it with you anyway. Also interviewed is Branislav Jankic, whose photography exhibit, Letter to my Mother, was on display. (Teaser: I’ve been talking to his Producer about how to share some of this touching work with the 4C women of WFS at our 2019 conference!)

Speaking of conference, the Conference Workgroup continues to be hard at work planning the WFS Annual Weekend Conference 2019. Please let us know if you’d like to help – we’ll soon be releasing the Call for Presentations application for presenters. We’ll again be offering to waive the base registration fee for women choosing to “work” over the weekend by presenting a workshop, so this is a great way to help offset those travel expenses. Local WFS groups are also encouraged to consider volunteering to help host conference in their city in 2020 – you heard that right! WFS is looking to branch out and bring the conference experience to different areas of the country in order to make it more accessible to our Sisters nationwide. Of course, we can’t do it alone, so if you know of a great venue near you, please let us know!

I also took some time to ask for ideas and feedback about our online peer-support forum from current participants. I know I shouldn’t be the one to make those rules, since I don’t get logged in very often anymore. I believe the decisions really belong with the user community. I have received lots of great ideas, which I’m still in the process of cutting and pasting into a report to share. We’ll then discuss as a community which ideas we want to pursue and what changes, if any, to make. It has so far been a very collaborative process, and I’m optimistic that we will all be able to continue to work together to strengthen this great 4C resource. Development of the new chat room has continued, with a new direction being pursued by our Internet Services Team since user testing exposed a number of problems with the program we had been trying to implement. Great group effort, everyone!

Okay, I think that’s most of the happenings around here… I know I am forgetting stuff but it is time for me to start my “weekend.” Thank you for reading and thank you for all that you do to help strengthen and grow this New Life Program!

Enthusiastically Yours!
Adrienne Miller
President/CEO
Women for Sobriety, Inc.

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 10/22/18

Monday Thoughts

“You have dealt with so much and done the best that you can, take a moment now to appreciate how strong you are.” ~~Karen Salmansohn

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret to getting started is breaking your overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting the first one.” ~~Mark Twain

“Understanding can overcome any situation, however mysterious or insurmountable it may appear to be.” ~~Norman Vincent Peale


Statement #4
 Problems bother me only to the degree I permit.
I now better understand my problems.
I do not permit problems to overwhelm me.


Years ago, while raising alpacas, one of the most valuable tools in the field was balanced breathing. Alpacas are herd animals without a strong ability to protect themselves; they rely heavily on processing information related to their surroundings. Alpacas notice the little things like the breath of a 4 legged or 2-legged thing near them. Balanced breathing was just as important as a sharp pair of clippers!

Fast forward to today. My yoga instructor repeatedly states that our breath is our fuel. A quick Google search will tell that our breath sustains life by providing oxygen needed for metabolism and removing by-product carbon dioxide. Breathing also affects motor control and plays roles in physiological and psychological regulation. In a nutshell, breath is life. With something this important, this can be a natural place to begin when faced with a problem, large or small.

Statement #4 can be put into practice immediately upon discovering a problem. Just like alpacas banding together tightly when sensing something off, we can take a deep breath and band together for support. Reaching out to the WFS Online Forum, in face to face groups or a 4C sister, we find compassion and strength. Adding in slow, steady breathing can prepare our mind and body for understanding and problem solving.

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

I’ve heard it said often to just breathe when a strong feeling seems to stop us from doing what is so necessary for life – like breathing!

My way of practicing Statement #4 is to replace “problems” with “worry” and to make the distinction between worry and concern. It’s been said that worry is problem oriented and concern is solution oriented. As a former worrier, I was reluctant to give up this approach as that would also mean I would have to actually be in charge of finding solutions to real issues/concerns. It was much easier (or so I thought) to see my whole life as a problem that could never be solved. I still go back to worrying now and then and that is usually when I have put way too much on my plate. I compare it to one of those “all you can eat buffets” for one low price. Well, I’ve learned the price is much too high even when it’s low! Thank goodness for the WFS group and my friends to help me (not judge me) get back to problem solving real concerns. If I am trying to control another person’s behavior, that is a red flag that I am distracting myself from taking care of the only person I can control and that is me. I can set healthier boundaries, I can make choices that support my well-being and I can ask for help from those I trust.

I want to focus on productive problem-solving as that teaches us so much of what we are capable of, how open we are to new ideas, what risks we are willing to take in this new approach, learning the difference between worry and concern and believing we are problem solvers with great follow-through as we practice Statement #4.

Here are some ways to start the productive problem-solving for concerns/issues that require our attention:

  • Clear description of the concern.
  • Clear delineation of the “ownership” of the concern. Whose concern is it?
    A clear description of the scope of the concern. How extensive? How long has it existed? How many people are affected?
  • A clear description of the consequences if concern is not solved. What is the impact on family, job, marriage, school, life in the community, etc.
    List brainstormed solutions to the concern. This is where your trusted support system is helpful.
  • A system of ranking each solution to finalize the decision-making process.
    A clear description of yourself as a decision-maker. Are you procrastinating? Avoiding the issue? Are you shutting down or blocking creativity? Are you ignoring it, hoping it will go away?
  • Determination to follow through on the solution. Are you willing to take the risk and pursue the solution to its fullest?

Hope this is helpful if you are struggling with an issue. If it helps for now to use the word “problem,” please consider doing that. Much success in moving forward in your ability to make decisions, seek support and take risks.

Bonded in being powerful decision-makers,
4C WFS Member

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 10/15/18

Monday Thoughts

“Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.” ~~Unknown

“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.” ~~Lao Tzu

“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” ~~Margaret Lee Runbeck


Statement #3
 Happiness is a habit I am developing.
Happiness is created not waited for.


Inserting the word “contentment” into Statement #3 when happiness does not appear to fit into daily life can create a bridge to fulfillment. It can be difficult and unrealistic to feel “happy” when going through extreme feelings of loss; much like when moving through overwhelming grief or anguish. By inserting the word “contentment”, this Statement can foster stability rather than trying to achieve a by-product of something else much like through alcohol, relationships or material substances.

In the past, my feelings of happiness (as well as self-worth) were attached to being in a romantic relationship. Unable to distinguish happiness separately while unskilled at how to release myself from unhealthy relationships, I lost my identity and the ability to feel joy or contentment. With happiness attached to someone/thing outside, it was impossible to create inner joy. Feeling emotionally chained, alcohol became a quick and repetitive attempt to cut away distress. It never worked.

Embracing the empowering WFS Program and Statements, it is possible to feel contentment, even while moving through unease. Yet, when my father passed away a few years ago, the feelings of grief and sadness felt overwhelming. Surprisingly, it was the continued practice of Statement #3 that helped create a foundation of ease and contentment so that I could manage the intense emotions. Instead of diving into a deep despair, I felt strong footing underneath and moved through the feelings, content in the knowledge that I could understand the process and let go. This felt so much more comfortable and I was better able to shift towards contentment and absolute joy for his life.

Here are 4 examples for creating contentment:

  1. Gratitude Journal
    Even one entry per day can set the mind to focusing on the have’s instead of have not’s.
  2. Measure Yourself with Your Own Yardstick
    We have no idea what it took for someone to be where they are; it is unrealistic to compare ourselves to another. Be gentle and measure yourself with your own yardstick.
  3. Embrace Change
    Everything is impermanent, valuing and embracing change can lead to feelings of ease, happiness and contentment.
  4. Mindfulness
    Consciousness in activities and/or choices can bring feelings of contentment. Multi-tasking can complicate life.

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

I agree with Karen that just changing a word can help us better understand and practice Statement #3 and make it work for us. I always like to add, happy “MOMENTS” are created not waited for. It is the awareness of those moments that creates the joy and memory. My foundation became peace in knowing that while there are troubling, painful times in our lives, they will not last forever. Years ago, I clung to the painful times as though there would never be an end. Perhaps it had to do with my blaming others for my circumstances and being the victim felt comfortable and kept me from accepting any responsibility for my life. If happiness happened, it was because I was drinking or it was a fluke. When I first read this Statement, I was taken aback. What do you mean, happiness is created, not waited for? Great! I not only had to work on my sobriety, now I had to create my own happiness? I am here to tell you that truer words have never been spoken. Once I let go of my victim role, I embraced change as Karen suggested above and I began to build that foundation of peace. That foundation opened the door to accepting responsibility, exploring new opportunities and especially being brutally honest with myself about the burden I had placed on others to make me happy. It also helped me move through loss, hurt and enormous pain. It was challenging yet it kept me centered and I had the support of friends and the 4C women in WFS. When I am hurt or confused, it is the knowledge that I am not alone and can express my concerns without judgment. I am so grateful because even with my foundation of peace, I need the support, input and insight from those who understand.

Over the years, I have had several exercises regarding Statement #3. Here are few questions.

What gives you the greatest joy?
When was the last time you felt that joy?
What brings a smile to your face when you think of it?
What new or different paths have you taken to create happiness?
Have you explored a new hobby or gone back to the one that you previously enjoyed?
What inspires you?
When is the last time you treated yourself?
When is the last time you played your favorite music and danced with joy?
I feel happy when_________________.

Please consider any or all of the 4 examples that Karen gave toward building your foundation of contentment, peace or joy. I hope you will find time as well to answer some of the questions I posed and perhaps share them with someone you trust, in a f2f group or online.

Bonded in developing a habit of happiness,
4C WFS Member

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 10/8/18

Monday Thoughts

“One day I looked at something in myself that I had been avoiding because it was too painful. Yet once I did, I had an unexpected surprise. Rather than self-hatred, I was flooded with compassion for myself because I realized the pain necessary to develop that coping mechanism to begin with.” ~~Marianne Williamson

“Failing well is a skill. Letting girls do it gives them critical practice coping with a negative experience. It also gives them the opportunity to develop a kind of confidence and resilience that can only be forged in times of challenge.” ~~Rachel Simmons

“I’m still coping with my trauma, but coping by trying to find different ways to heal it rather than hide it.” ~~Clementine Wamariya


Statement #2
Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act is to reduce negativity in my life.


Recently, many women have felt triggered from numerous social and political developments. From the #Me Too movement and past personal traumas to the uncertainty with LGBT and reproductive rights, there is an air of fury along with an increase of raw emotion. Across this wide range of feelings some women are flooded with fear and negativity. Thankfully, the WFS community is a safe and restorative landing place.

Oftentimes, women can feel that intense emotions are negative. Throughout my life, thoughts of rage have led to extreme emotion, which can still feel frightening.  Finding what resides under this anger has opened up healing, bringing understanding and action to light. A continued practice of Statement #2 enables a reduction in negativity.

Negative thoughts are often impulsive and can be reduced through identifying and processing. Instead of turning away from the raw feelings thoughts can bring, even slowly paced processing leads to increased feelings of ease. For instance, try logging negative thoughts into an impulse log. Here is a log with two examples:

Impulsive or Negative Thought: 

  1.  I can’t handle this, I need a drink!
  2.  I am mad at the whole world, I want to hit something!

What am I trying to express with this impulsive or negative thought?

  1.  I am afraid, I am in emotional pain, I feel useless and alone.
  2.  Issues important to me are being dismantled and I feel alone.

What will I do instead?

  1.  I can call another 4C woman, go on the WFS Forum, take a walk, or practice breathing.
  2.  I will call my Senator/public official, join a committee, learn how to run for public office

How do I feel after?

  1.  Instead of drinking, I now understand that I was feeling afraid and doubted myself and wanted to escape this intense emotion, so I called a 4C friend, we talked, laughed and I feel hopeful and very happy that I chose to call her, and she too was happy that I called. We are having lunch together next week. My mind is more at ease now.
  2.  Instead of lashing out or getting into road rage, I found a group, signed up for their emails and am looking into what I can do today. I might run for office in the future but right now I am supporting those running for office whose values echo my own and made friends with two individuals at the last gathering. I feel focused on solutions and am putting my energy into helping advance this cause.

How do you move through negative thoughts? Which way is the most effective for you?

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

Love the exercise Karen has given us to process our negative thoughts. I related to her fear of experiencing rage as I have definitely felt that extreme feeling throughout my life. Understanding where that feeling originated was an eye opener. I realized that most of my rage came from feeling invisible, inadequate, rejected and powerless – feelings I carried from childhood into adulthood. And those are just a few that I have identified! I use to stay stuck in those negative feelings until I uncovered their origin.

Now when I feel those negative thoughts rushing in, I stop and focus on the core issue of where the thoughts are stemming from. I discovered that many times it is because I am not in control of the situation which means I am not in control of the outcome. Why this surprises me, surprises me! After all, I have learned a long time ago that I am only in control of myself, my actions, my decisions. So, it goes back to those initial feelings which tells me that if I were visible, heard, adequate and empowered enough, the people I love would follow my guidance and I would feel I had worth because they valued my input.

Now, just in case you’re wondering who those people are, it is my family.  I share this because while I have learned and gained insight over the years, I think my feelings are typical when it comes to family members (spouse, partner, sibling, children and extended family members).  Knowing this in advance, I am able to use positive self-talk, receive support from my friends and the WFS group, and even writing the Monday message helps me. No more running from my negative thoughts.

It’s amazing how my support system can bring me back to common sense, to what I already know deep down inside but for the moment, I lose track of it all. This is why I always emphasize that we are not alone. Reaching out, knowing there are people who relate to you, no explanations, no judgments, what a gift! And sometimes, we just want to be heard. I love being able to turn my negative thoughts around, knowing once again that I am in control of me, not anyone else and it’s my choice to set healthy boundaries as best I can. I am learning to challenge those negative thoughts rather than to be stuck in them. When I challenge, I see the core of “why” and it gives me a chance to create an action plan of how to cope, to create positive change that I am in control of and, as Karen said, focus on solutions and using my energy to advance a cause or find the path to keep creating my New Life.

Have you uncovered the origins of your negative thoughts? If so, how has this helped you turn those thoughts around?
Do you have a support system in place?

Bonded in support of each other,
4C WFS Member

Posted on

Organization Update 10/5/18

WFS booth at NAADAC conference

Hello Friends!

Sorry so late tonight – I have been busy with travel and the NAADAC conference today. Here’s a picture of the booth – sorry, it’s not a great shot and the color is a little off (I’ve been go-go-going since 3 am, what can I say). The beautiful runners were designed by WFS Online member nanserz – thanks nanserz! They look great!

It has been so wonderful to spread the word about the New Life Program with so many treatment professionals – and we only had a 3-hour reception tonight! When I asked one woman if she had heard of WFS, she replied with, “Yes! I follow you on social media and I share your posts all the time!” For those of you who may not be aware, a WFS volunteer posts an inspirational image and a statement every day – even when she is convalescing from surgery. A great big thank you to SereneBritt for her excellent work on our social media outreach.

There are still 2 full days of exhibiting left. Luckily, I have a long-time 4C woman and Certified Moderator with me to help answer questions and hand out literature.

This week’s entry is going to be a bit lean, I’m afraid. It’s been a very long day. Thanks for reading and I hope to see you back here next week!

Enthusiastically Yours!
Adrienne Miller
President/CEO
Women for Sobriety, Inc.

Posted on

Monday Thoughts 10-1-18

Monday Thoughts

“Behind every successful woman there is a tribe of other successful women who have her back.” ~~unknown

“Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to. But tell it. Some won’t understand it. Some will outright reject it. But many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one, voices will start whispering, ‘Me too.’ And your tribe will gather. And you will never be alone again.” ~~L.R. Knost

“We spend so much energy and breath trying to be accepted in tribes that are not in our ‘soul DNA’. Learn to walk away from a table that has no seat reserved for you. Align, go with your flow and the rhythm of synchronicity will lead you to your tribe.” ~~Malebo Sephodi


 Statement #1
  I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my well-being I accept the responsibility.


Sometimes it comes in whispers, and sometimes it comes through a megaphone, but it comes. It comes when it no longer works, it comes when it makes absolutely no sense, but it comes. Yet the tribe, the tribe awaits. Women are welcome, anytime, from anywhere. A beautiful tribe of 4C women has open hands, minds and hearts.

Taking hold of any number of strong hands from the tribe, Statement #1 begins the WFS New Life Program. We are women reaching out to one another, bonded together in overcoming. From the first month of sobriety to the toughest day spent in recovery and beyond, we support each other. We listen, we laugh, we cry, we encourage. We are one in the same, we are capable, competent, caring and compassionate. We are the tribe of 4C women.

Even before knowing the need, before the whispers or megaphones, this tribe of strong and mindful women, live life. Real life, with all the joys, the sorrows, the ups the downs and everything in between, but always ready to welcome and extend a hand and heart. Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD, created and rooted this ever-growing tribe, inviting any woman desiring a new way of life to embrace Statement #1 and live, fully. Every day, through the WFS Online Forum, Face to Face meetings, on the phone or in person, this tribe forever strengthens and connects.

“We are capable and competent, caring and compassionate, always willing to help another, bonded together in overcoming our addictions.” WFS Motto

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

I love belonging to this tribe of 4C women. After 30 years, I remain enthused and grateful for the women I have met and watched grow emotionally and spiritually through the WFS program.

Statement #1 gave me hope. It was life changing to realize that I was able to take charge of my life and actually accept the responsibility! It was freeing as it changed my negative thinking from believing I was stuck without a way out to learning new coping tools for what life handed me, all the ups and downs. It was tricky at first because those up times could be triggers that I had everything under control forever. Bring on the challenges – I was ready! Well, life experience has shown me that there is always room for learning new ways of coping and to be aware of diverse triggers. I’ve learned what many of my triggers were, some new ones along the way, and created plans to handle them as best I could.

This may also be a time when you are struggling with staying sober/not using. WFS is an abstinence program yet it is also a safe place to seek input, learn more about yourself, new ways of coping with life situations/people and to make plans for whenever such a situation arises again. Trust me, there will be more situations/challenges to face yet as we continue to learn, we build up the confidence to handle them differently. The goal is for a New Life and each of us is in charge of making that happen but remember we are never alone. Take the time t o reflect on the who, what, why and where of your urges and make those plans. This is the time to uncover our wounds, begin our healing and discover all the possibilities that lay before us.

It is also important to have a strong support system where you feel safe in sharing. This is what I love about WFS. We do the best we can, no judgments, no blaming ourselves if we make a mistake. WFS encourages learning from our mistakes, no beating ourselves up as this can be a trigger for “what’s the use?” Freedom, availability, self-respect, self-love, self-worth and all those other positive self’s – that is the purpose of practicing Statement #1. We are gaining a whole New Life and that is worth it all.

Do you know what your triggers are?
What coping skills/plans have you developed?
What are the benefits of recovery? (i.e., defining boundaries, healthy relationships)
What is the most challenging part of recovery at this point in your life?
Who makes up your support system?
How has Statement #1 changed your approach to recovery?

Bonded in accepting responsibility,
4C WFS Member